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i'll spend the rest of my life wasting away to an emotionless void while waiting for him to become the caring man i need him to be now.
i'll span years that grow bleaker and seal my fate in blood, as this child ties me forever to his side.
oaths will be sworn and valor will decrease as without warning this fair maiden becomes an old maid.
and every tear will be wasted shed for bringing this future upon myself.
why am i once again denied the right to happiness?
once again trapped, caged, and forced to wait while misery takes hold and i will be lifeless by times end.
why must one more second pass in fear and bitter tastes?
and babysitter to a man child i grow steeped in this wretched play of dutiful caretaker. needy woman seeks love, for if not sought after its not offered...until i feel beaten down and joy is mugged from me forcibly. and what future have i brought on myself?
no man will wait until these tattered sails at last go to port. no rescue team will venture into the raging storm to manhandle a tortured girl from her self inflicted punishment. i'll be dead and salted over before the winds change and blow this rowboat on to dry ground.
who will marvel at my aged beauty when they remember how ripe she once was? who will want a faded songs echo when the best of her notes were wasted on a man who hated the sound of her voice?
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Posted by kmalbro on 2008-02-06 14:34:11 | Rating: | Views: 64
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I read your last five blogs to try to understand how you feel about your life. "babysitter to a boy child" shriveled manhood, swollen flesh, I think you are less than happy where you are so why not vote with your feet and walk away?
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Posted by penumbra88
on 2008-02-06 14:47:57
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actually i have walked away from a lot of unhappy circumstances and bad situations...and some of the solace i find is in looking back and writing about the experiences. my writing comes from a place in me where i no longer have to live, but just occasionally visit, and if i can use the past to inspire something creative and vivid then it means its not just some scar in my head that serves no purpose but to haunt me. i'd much rather you judge my writing on what it makes you think about your own life or experiences. appreciate it for what it is and what it says....don't read it like warning label or a cry for help. i am putting my pieces out there for critique, not to find salvation :) but thank you for your concern.
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Posted by kmalbro
on 2008-02-06 15:07:03
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If only there were easy answers. I love how you poured your emotions into this piece. I wish I could give you a hug and make you feel better.
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Posted by HungryHeart
on 2008-02-06 15:08:23
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It is good to ponder, even morbidly.
Our thoughts create our destiny.
Seek what makes your heart sing, lil'muse.
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Posted by DifficultSoul
on 2008-03-02 15:00:53
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