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le sigh

i'm not so cynical at this point in my life....i'm fairly contented....a little more relaxed....and perhaps even more open to the idea that while Fate has a role in my life, it does not have to be a big one. and that chances are better off taken, words are much more sincere when they are spoken outloud, and a guarded heart is a useless heart because no one will ever have the chance to appreciate what lies underneath the facade.
then valentines day rolls around and suddenly i am just as jaded as the rest, watching that ridiculously insipid hallmark commercial taunt me from my own television. every kiss begins with kay, nothing says i love you like diamonds and roses are the best gift someone could ever ask for.
its not that i am not happy with my current relationship. my love has not diminished even one iota, it has, if anything continued to grow and spawn more empathy and respect with each passing day.
but lets not fool ourselves...romance has a tendency to fade. annoyingly just when you start to yearn for some sweeping-you-off-your-feet moments, you look around and realize that they have gone the way of the dodo bird and become extinct.
i'm not saying that i need jewelry and roses.....but does is it really all that crazy to want them every now and then?
a guesture, however lacking in grandeur, is still a loving guesture. hell, at this point i'd settle for a spur of the moment liplock and a wisp of hair brushed off of my forehead.
no one has to meet me at the top of the empire state building to make me feel loved....but how about just meeting me at the door once in a while?
still. i am luckier than many and well aware of my good fortune in even having a man to call my own. but a small discontented part of me starts to whine pretty loudly this time of year....because what is the point of being in a relationship that doesn't light that spark inside me anymore? and if there is no spark to rekindle the fire with then what do we have left besides the memories of when we first fell into being consumed by the blaze?