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the idea of being a single mother scares the piss out of every prospective date i may have. and while a part of me understands their apprehension, another part of me is rightfully indignant. like, because i have a child, because i am raising her on my own, that must mean that i am frantically searching for not just a date, but a father figure, a fellow parent, someone to load down with the burdens of raising a child and thereby effectively force them to commit to a relationship that is so much more than just a relationship.
let me clear that up RIGHT NOW.
yes i am single. yes i am a mother.
yes, i would love for my daughter to be raised be father who she can love, adore, respect and learn from. but she has only one dad. he bailed a long time ago. but despite his failures he is the only real father she will ever have. and i have not spent the last 9 months at her beck and call, at midnight, at 3am, every hour of the day concerned and consumed by her health and happiness, setting every event of my day against the backdrop of her safety and security, to just turn around one day and dump the job on someone else. even part time.
the beauty of single motherhood is not in the exhaustion, the lonliness, its not even in the idea that maybe oneday a real man will step up and we'll all live happily ever after.
the true joy, for me anyway, is in the fact that she is mine. and mine alone. she is the most wonderful child in the entire world and i am raising her. no one else interferes, no one else tells me what i am doing is wrong, or i should be doing it another way. i soley am responsible for her and i like it that way. i have spent all this time completely in charge and her life and why in God's name would anyone assume that i would want to give that up so easily?
it would take longer for me as her mother to adjust to the idea of someone else having a hand in her life than it would take for a man to come around to the idea of raising a daughter he didn't help create.
i love being a mother.
and yes, i want to start dating,
but i want to start dating for me. for my benefit. for my enjoyment.
i am not dad shopping for my kid.
i just want a man to love and respect me.
i don't want a babysitter.
i don't want a crutch,
i don't want another parent.
she is content
she is happy.
and thats good enough for my daughter,
so its about time that i found someone to do those things for me.
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Posted by kmalbro on 2008-05-26 00:36:46 | Rating: | Views: 48
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I'm sure you'll eventually find someone who has enough emotional maturity not to be scared off.
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Posted by hairytoad2005
on 2008-05-26 04:59:59
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Well all I have to say is if a man really truely is in to you. He will not run from you. So be patient. I know its hard but you will find the right one who respects you. I must say I have never been a single mom, but I do like your outlook on it. You are very possitive and you should be poud of it. Good luck and God bless you. LANA
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Posted by michelle8angels
on 2008-08-17 00:38:10
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