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Do any of you ever feel bad.... You are not even sure what about. Like you know you have done a few things in life that you are not proud of but not sure what exactly was bad about it, like there are so many almost to many ways to justify it... Like you felt at the time it was the right thing to do and now that you are thinking about it you feel like it was a bad choice, like your chance to fix it has gone out the window.... you keep wondering if that person is mad at you, you have asked so many time and they have said no that they might be mad at you for asking so much... (well maybe not literally) But you dont know if you wish you had not done what you did or wish you hadnt met the person you did that to. It really wasnt your fault what happened but you feel completely responsible... It is no ones fault what happened and you just feel so bad about it. you know that even if you hadnt done what you did you still would have found some way to mess things up with that person. I feel I mean you feel so bad about it you loved them so much and then they want to go to iraq and you get in the middle of him and his dad and just screw it all up! YOu loved him so much you felt so perfectly comfortable in his arms, you never felt embarrassed about anything around him he excepted you for you and no one else, you could be your self and no different and he still loved you back. It feels so wrong even tho it has been almost 5 months since you were with him. every time you think about him it is still so fresh, it is one of those things that whenever you think about him you think about some thing you had done embarrassing that didnt feel that way at the moment and not you cringe when you think about it, he just found it cute but now you feel like you were just so stupid, I have i mean you have tried to many different ways to forget him or just not to love him any more but it doesn't work, You have tried just telling yourself that he doesnt love you anymore and not to think about him but you couldnt help but think that maybe he does when ever you get to believing he doesnt love you some how he comes back into your heart, and you fall head over heals again! Or you try to lie to yourself about him and make your self believe it but when you almost do he will call you or some thing and you find out again that it was all a lie and you again wish it hadnt happened that you hadnt ever had to experience the pain that came with love, every one said you are to young yes i am to young to get married or to carried away but i am old enough for my dad to quit protecting me i can live my life now! "i dont want you to ever have a broken heart" i will never tell him this but he helped a lot with my heart ache. my dad and my guys dad were just way to close! gr if he hadnt said anything i may not feel like this if i hadnt said anything to any one i would not feel like this, If i had kept my heart in a lock box i wouldnt feel like this but i love him to much to wish it all away i would never trade the times i had with him! I might have changed some stuff i had done but never trade the time i miss him, i wish he was still here and still loved me or still told me he did. I feel so bad! i feel so guilty!
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Posted by kitkatbar on 2008-08-03 23:07:28 | Rating: | Views: 44
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maybe you shud feel guilty.. idk i have aproblem like that.
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Posted by bri_axedit_addiction
on 2008-08-03 23:24:09
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Well, to the first part i could relate, but the next part, not as much, lol. i dont think you should feel guilty though. maybe talk to him about this...you have a point though. cherish all the good times you had with him, and wait and see if it'll work out. things have a way of working themselves out on their own :)
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Posted by bookworm21
on 2008-08-03 23:27:01
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i hope so thanks, i think that feling guilty about something i have no control over isnt just eating me away i am really trying not to feel guilty about it, i dont know how but i am trying, I kind of want to talk to him about it but i am scared to because he is leaving for Iraq soon and i really dont want to cause any more issues, he can be so hard headed i think when i wrote to him while he is gone i will ask about it then... thank you
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Posted by kitkatbar
on 2008-08-04 07:04:06
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