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some things have been going down

Life is not the best it could be right now.

Last week, Holly and I got into an argument and she took my phone. First it was my text messaging then my phone permanently. Well, my phone was pretty much my only contact with Ronnie. Not anymore. When Holly took my phone-she went through it. And I'm not going to lie- there were some dirty text messages going back and forth between Ronnie and I...what can I say? lol Well anyways this obviously offended her or did nothing but she threatened to tell my dad that and about something else that had happened a few months ago (Ronnie and I had sex in a theater). Well anyways I didnt really care. But then I kinda did. If she told dad about that- the things that are going on now would be ten times worse.
But then again shes married to my dad and is keeping secrets from him. Smooth move. Well Wednesday night my mom comes up to my job and says dad wants all three kids out of the house for the rest of the week and then the weekend which is okay because its my moms weekend anyways. Then the next day he wants us back at the house. I was glad to be gone. We all need a vacation away from each other. So, I didnt want to go home. But then I really didnt want to go home after my dad dropped the biggest bomb on me.

The dirty text messages were read by Holly and my dad and my dad called Ronnie. Ronnie and I are never allowed to speak to each other again. If he tries to contact me- hes going to jail. If I try to contact him and he answers back- hes going to jail.

One, I'm SEVENTEEN (17) years old. I am the legal consent age. I have been since I was SIXTEEN (16) years old. They had no problem when we were dating then when he was 19. then I turned 17 and he turned 20- still no problem. But then they read a few dirty text messages and they think its disrespectful to me. I know its not. I obvioulsy was enjoying myself. I obviously like it. I like having sex with him and theres nothing they can do or say to stop that. I feel like I have no privacy. I feel like they have no respect for me.

Two, they know I am stuck like glue to Ronnie. And its not fair to me that they take the only person Ive ever wanted to be with before they even knew he was apart of the equation. Ever since two years ago- I knew I loved him. I just knew I had to wait to have him. And I waited and I'll still wait. I always have.

But thats not the best part. Before I knew all of this- Ronnie knew all of this. And was forbidden to talk to me ever. So after the conversation with my dad- I tried calling Ronnie.....at least a million times. And I got nothing....a million times. I left so many voicemails over and over again. Crying and telling him everything is gonna be okay- he can pick up his phone. But he never did.

I talked to a legit police officer. My dad cannot legally do anything to Ronnie and I. He is 20 years old; I'll be 18 in less than 5 months. A judge will not touch anything of that sort. Its ridiculous. Its so stupid.

Miranda spent the night Saturday and I decided to text Ronnie instead of call him. He replied. Then I called him when I got to my moms house- and my mom doesnt really agree with what dad is doing, but she still wants Ronnie and I to be safe. Like not get caught. So shes staying on her toes for us. Well Ronnie and I got into a little argument about the whole situation because were upset about the whole thing. We both cant believe why my dad would do something like that. Why would he- of all people- want to hurt me. Hes literally killing me, thats what it feels like.

Ronnie and I decided we'd see each other the next day at warped tour. And we spent the whole day with each other. It was absolutely amazing. He was the best :) he looked and felt and smelt amazing. It felt like I had hadnt seen him in 10 years. I treasured every single moment like it was the last. We had so much fun blistering in the sun and listening to music and kissing and cuddling. I mean life was good for 7 1/2 hours lol. Then he ate with us at Steak n Shake. And that was fun. My brother talks a mad game- but was the greatest sport. He must not hate him as much as he thinks he does.

Ronnie promised me hed come back for me when he is done with the NAVY. He said hed come find me. He still considers me his fiance. He still considers me the love of his life. And back at em'. I'm COMPLETELY CONVINCED hes it. And thats the only thing I know and believe. When he comes back he'll be 26 years old. I'll be 23. It'll be worth it. We'll have the best wedding, and the best marriage. To infinity baby. Forever and ever.