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long time no blog

Ive been extremely busy. Wait, let me stress that. EXTREMELY busy.

I have been working at the theater like crazy. I get my schedule for AE tomorrow. School has been keeping me on my toes.

I finished Geometry today guys. I got a 78.05% percernt for the whole class. My EOCT is Friday. So I dont have to come back till then.

Batman: The Dark Night came out Friday. We had a midnight show Thursday. Totally crazy. But totally fun. Except when I called Ronnie that night before the midnight thing had gone down.

I called Ronnie like I always do. Very secretly and jive from the work phone. And he said the four most horrid words anyone can say. "WE NEED TO TALK". At first, I thought I had done something horrible. But couldnt figure out what. But it wasnt me. It was Holly.

Holly had left Ronnie this extremely long message on facebook- because she cant keep anythign short and sweet; telling him that they dont hate him they just feel that he disrespects me...yada yada yada. They HATE him. I cannot stress that enough. And I hate that. Well WE agreed to stop talking- AGAIN.
But in six years if we find each other... we'd like to be with one another.

But I cant lose him again. Its too hard for me. I feel like they dont understand. They dont know. And you know how adults are like "dont try something stupid-because we already know what youre going to do" ?---NOT! I dont believe for one second, Holly could come anywhere close to the things Ive done. I havent done anything phenomenal but I have done anything too bad. obviously because if I did- I'd be in jail.
But I texted him from Bens phone yesterday, my manager. And he actually texted back. (less than three). Hes the best thing that ever happened to me. I never thought that in a million years I'd be in love with Ronnie. i never thought itd be possible. And here it is, dream come true, and I'm forbidden to speak to him. I honestly just wish theyd back off.

They get so suspicious about the stupidest things. Like this morning, Dad and I are talking because when Holly comes to pick me up, Im going to the movies to meet up with my cousins to see Batman. And my dad was like if theres something going on and you feel uncomfortable, call me. Basically hes talking about drugs. About both my cousins. Marissa hasnt done drugs in four months. Shes done. Shes dropped that for a boy- just like me. And idk if Joey still does it. But if he does, he doesnt do it around us.

It makes me so mad, and I know they have nothing to rely on bet the past- but the past is the past for a reason. I DONT DO DRUGS ANYMORE. I DONT DRINK AND I DONT SMOKE. GET OVER IT. And the look that Holly gave me- I could have slapped her.

Srsly. Back off. I'm almost to a point where I can run my own life. I wont need you that often. I cant have you live my life for me. I need to. I need to be able to explore and experience things. I need to be 17 and in love. And thats what I am but theres a wall... and I need break through and be me.

.....................I need some sleep.
I'm gonna catch some Z's.
Gimme some advice/ words of wisdom.

kthnx.

xoxokirstenamanda

P.S. I got my phone back. But still no texting :( I'll get it back soon. :)