Thoughts.com Blogs - All angst and witicisms aside...

View Blog

All angst and witicisms aside...

I'm leaving and never looking back. It may be an unwise choice, but it's certainly mine. My best friend is dying, diagnosed with cancer about three weeks ago. He refuses treatment and above all he refuses to tell anyone else. I'll leave that as his choice. The doctors gave him a year providing he's lucky. With me he seems to have much more luck than alone. He really, really doesn't want me there to watch him die, but I would rather have him die beside me than in some seedy hotel room waiting for a housekeeper to happen upon his lifeless body.

He doesn't think about it and he doesn't want me to of course. The next year is going to be hard, I know it will. We're basically just going to shoot the shit, all the things we've wanted to do (within reason) will be accomplished. Swimming in the Pacific ocean again, watching the northern lights, bike week in Daytona, learning how to ride a horse. If you have any other ideas of things to do or places to see, please contribute. If by the grace of the gods above he lives longer than a year then we've been thinking about settling down somewhere. He wants to know that I'll be okay afer he's gone, and I want him to feel at home for once in his life.

I've spent so much energy trying not to be upset by the situation that I'm just plum tuckered. Maybe I'm stupid to take this upon myself. I'm 19... but hell maybe it's just what I need to start the rest of my life. I've never been one to stay in one place for very long, I'm a military brat you see, and I just have a wild gypsy streak. Whine, whine, whine, bitch, bitch, bitch. I just try to maintain my good humor throughout the ordeal.

At my graduation there was a speaker and his speech sucked fucking ass. The only thing he said worth hearing was "Follow your heart." and he said it about every five seconds. My mom always says now that she could just about kill that man because it's the worse advice to give a group of people forging out into the world. Maybe so.

Anyway I'm the queen of playlists, I have one for every situation. If I don't have one for a particular situation then it gives me an opportunity to create yet another one. Here is my playlist for this situation and blog.

Come Pick Me Up - Ryan Adams
Desperado - Eagles
Goodbye - Drew Kennedy
With Me - Sum 41
Woman Walk the Line - Trisha Yearwood
Walkaway Joe - Trisha Yearwood
I Need You - Tim McGraw & Faith Hill
Holdin' You - Gretchen Wilson
I Will Follow You Into the Dark - Death Cab For Cutie
Long Trip Alone - Dierks Bentley
Iris - Goo Goo Dolls
Best of Intentions - Travis Tritt
Must Be Doing Something Right - Billy Currington
Put Your Lovin' On Me - Tim McGraw
Love of My Life - Sammy Kershaw
Love, Reign O'er Me - The Who
Something - Beatles
I'm Already There - Lonestar
Ain't No Sunshine - Bill Withers
A Change Is Gonna Come - Sam Cooke
Cupid - Sam Cooke
Let the Bodies Hit the Floor - Drowning Pool (Out of place, but it's one of our favorite songs)

What have you always wanted to do? Comments are more than welcomed, they're encouraged.
If you don't have anything worth hearing... erm reading... then don't type it. Anything disrespectful, rude, or off-topic is not only thoroughly unappreciated, it's also wasted on me. So don't be a bitch, I can do it better.