| Posted in
blog gone it, missing blog..help. on 2007-09-29 07:51:30 |
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replying before i head off.
can still view/read your blog entries and replies
hope thoughts.com can help with whatever it is you have lost and aye, will be on alert for any blog burglars [seriously though, hope they can help with whatever it is you have lost here]
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| Posted in
LIFE's sometimes...(always) hard on 2007-09-29 07:40:53 |
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hugs you,
you are fighting and holding on - thats what counts and you seem have such a strong faith in God and, if he helps you, as well as writing your blog, then thats only for the good.
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| Posted in
So Here Goes Nothing..... on 2007-09-29 07:35:34 |
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your daughter will see what a wonderful father you had through your words, your love for him radiates through and, he'll always be with you in spirit as well as in your heart.
hug
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| Posted in
Anna Grylls update Saturday 9am on 2007-09-29 07:31:42 |
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this is wonderful, been following the story and this is such delightful news.
bless you all
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| Posted in
WHO CARES? on 2007-09-29 04:58:32 |
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thinking you may well be just getting up over the pond this saturday afternoon.
just popping by to leave a note and hope that today sees you feeling abit more settled, hope so. try and have a good weekend hon
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| Posted in
The Mysteries of Pauleen on 2007-09-29 04:54:27 |
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this is grand, again, reading this has made me smile.
am sure you'll find avenues of help via other bligblagbloggers here, hope so, oh, and btw i'll watch out for number3 and keep quiet [joke].
hug
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| Posted in
comming clean on 2007-09-29 04:46:22 |
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huge hug and my congratulations, you have and are doing so wonderful, i'll send strength your way and hope you just get better and better. well done hon, you are a star. xo
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| Posted in
fighting on 2007-09-29 04:36:40 |
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gale850, aye, that is most true, thing was i didnt go looking for a man, never have done, it just 'happened' and i was drawn in and got myself trapped and, well now i am suffering for it, my crime? to care and to think i had someone that cared back and was a friend.
hence me now being here instead of there, as i cannot even bear to go near the place, which, hurts terribly and i miss my own rooms there. but i am frightened, hurt and too fragile to face anymore.
i am ever so thankful that i found out about this site, otherwise, i'd have no 'contact'/'lifeline' at all.
hugs you, sorry you got caught with a player, its no joke when they cite it all as a game, even more when you actually take vows of marriage. i am so sorry sweetheart and the very same goes for lying also, what is the point of lying it certainly is not a game either, hence file, document things and live and learn.
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| Posted in
The dark night of the soul on 2007-09-29 04:24:30 |
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agreeing with funnyme and leaving a warm hug for you [thank you hon]
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| Posted in
touching wood on 2007-09-29 04:22:45 |
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thank you pooka, that made me smile to see when i logged in, as am feeling reather fragile this late morn, will do another entry later if able.
i got Byrons poem:
She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies,
And all that's best of dark and bright Meet in her aspect and her eyes
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face,
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling place.
And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!
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| Posted in
A KING ON LONELY STREET on 2007-09-28 16:44:58 |
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you just caught me, so answering here. hug.
i liked the way you expressed this, sort of sad and the person seems to be alone and without any human contact, but on the other hand as your poem says, he also feels like a king - it makes you stop and think, does a smile, a kind word, a touch take effort?, no and because 'he' hasnt ever felt human kindness and has only felt 'a non entity' and yet, he feels he is a king.
this is actually quite thought provoking hon, thank you for sharing [and for email]
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| Posted in
WHO CARES? on 2007-09-28 16:34:29 |
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looks in on you before i go..
glad you got out, fresh air and a walk can do wonders. hug
as for advice? pamper yourself, find 'me' time if you can, do things that make you feel good, a good book, music, whatever really cheers you - do it.
take care poppet xo
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| Posted in
Feelin' Nostalgic.. on 2007-09-28 16:08:50 |
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yes, very true. hug
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| Posted in
touching wood on 2007-09-28 16:05:03 |
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feeling, relief.
its now nearly 11:30pm and soon be time to lay down. put mum to bed a few hours ago and she is sleeping peacefully, bless her heart.
tday, well tonight for me, being here and reading the posts, its been nice.
anyway, i'll probably read a few more, then try and pray i can rest this body.
hoping wherever you are in this world, that this weekend brings kindness and light to you all.
blessed be. xo
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| Posted in
holding back tears on 2007-09-28 15:56:25 |
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SubTomato, its funny isnt it how sometimes lyrics can lift us, sometimes drag us down or the memories and feelings they can alight
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| Posted in
Fear and Doubt on 2007-09-28 15:38:43 |
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thank you for this,
blessed be hon
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| Posted in
i felt selfish on 2007-09-28 15:35:41 |
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aye, you are right and least today as i said in my entry, no tears today, been refreshing, think i have sobbed enough, need the break.
hugs and thanks
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| Posted in
Taking things for granted on 2007-09-28 15:20:41 |
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this is heart warming, heck, pets to most are family, so yes, can understand the big deal it felt at the time. really happy ending though, thats great
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| Posted in
Share the good things on 2007-09-28 15:14:34 |
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my sentiments exactly, very well stated.
wrds and a smile can mean much. hug
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| Posted in
WHO CARES? on 2007-09-28 15:08:49 |
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wraps you in a warm hug.
hon, you are too precious a soul, take some 'you' time, lean on us here, sorry i cant be there rt to hug you right now. just, hold in there.
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| Posted in
Welcome to Pauleen's World! on 2007-09-28 15:03:56 |
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blab away hon, welcome and enjoy
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| Posted in
fighting on 2007-09-28 14:58:20 |
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thank you all for the kindness given/shown. very much appreciated, believe me. hugs to you all.
yes triforium, indeed, i have had to deal with most on my own and sadly had to grow up very quickly.
unsure what you mean about my mum, as i am her carer and love her to bits and am there with her 24/7 and usually try and hide my feelings/tears from her [although, she may be elderly, but she being my best friend and mum, 'knows' life is and never has been easy, shall i put it]
but thank you, yes, this is a big thing for me to do and it is made harder as expressing ones self is not always so easy as what it is face to face vocally.
at the moment, this place/ this blog/ is my lifeline, as that chatroom is not somewhere i feel able to return to, not for some time - its hurt me too much, thus this is where i am at home, feel safe.
thank you all again xo
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| Posted in
forgiveness on 2007-09-28 14:44:55 |
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leaves you a warm hug, yes, this is really difficult, but, you have got to think of 'you'
if he is really making you die inside and tearing you apart, you'll have to let go, for your own peace of mind and sake. once real trust with someone you love rt is shattered, it is not something easily regained and nope, you are not foolish, just human with feelings and you are hurting.
i really feel for you sweetheart. hugs again
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| Posted in
Husband store on 2007-09-28 14:12:20 |
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awww, you bad [joking]
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| Posted in
dogs know whats best for you on 2007-09-28 14:10:27 |
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briliant and i echo bubblydi.
never under estimate animals, or what they can do to help us humans, they are so worth it and all they need is love and care in return.
enjoy your new adventures and all the new people/friends you will make, thanks mainly to the help of your four legged friends
hugs
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| Posted in
badlove!!!!?????? on 2007-09-28 14:00:02 |
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over time will help you heal hon, just go with your emotions right now, ride them out and hopefully the pain/anger you feel will begin to ease, love and care is not something, an emotion, we can just turn off, so dont be too hard on yourself.
good luck. hug
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| Posted in
Gave it another chance...... on 2007-09-28 13:51:01 |
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hugs you. you are in a tough spot and i am so sorry.
doesnt sound like he is reay or willing to change hon, not yet any way.
you writing this down, filing it etc is an extremely good idea and also, it may help to know others are on your side and care.
hug
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| Posted in
thanks on 2007-09-28 13:41:49 |
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wrds hurt and stay with you, thats why you feel so negative, also, not kind or helpful if the comments have come from your own family.
you sound very strong and yet fragile too..and no, its not things you can overcome with ease, it can takes months/yhears or sometimes never to remove certain thoughts/images from ones mind and brain.
hon, if you can not talk to your mum face to face, have you thought perhaps about writing it down in a letter and giving/sending it to her? just an idea if its not something you have done. hug.
if you know you do not need to lose weight, do not do it, if your dr advises you to try and lose some, then try, just adjust how you eat, avoid diets and just try and be more aware as in walking more and doing as much as you can to keep active as this will help with overall fitness/wellbeing.
if as i believe it to be, a problem with the constant jibes/hurt you have endured, then that is more of a case of trying to slowly build your confidense up with support from friends and those you feel you can trust and who are not unkind to you. its a start.
not sure if i am being of much help, but i wish you the best of luck sweetheart.
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| Posted in
another entry on 2007-09-28 13:30:53 |
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leaves a hug
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| Posted in
Some food for thought on 2007-09-28 13:29:58 |
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congratulations for all you have achieved so far, you are doing great and am sure the job will follow in time as you find your feet and get more and more confident and settled and stride forward. good luck to you. hug
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| Posted in
Living During Rsd on 2007-09-28 13:07:48 |
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being in terrible pain and not having anyone listen or always 'see' it, its very difficult. i am really happy that your spirit is strong and guiding you, also the writing will help and as you say, who knows? one day a book with your name on it may become a reality.
never give up on a dream or any dreams - they can come true. good luck hon.
hug
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| Posted in
Hate on 2007-09-28 13:00:10 |
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hate is a very powerful word and feeling to possess, so as you say, maybe its more indifference or just being kicked by the wrong people, also, as you pointed out, you didnt care if it happened, perhaps others are frightened by you or dont feel able to approach you?
once bitten twice shy as the saying goes, so naturally you feel 'whats the point?' so for what its worth, i understand the way you feel. hang in there hon and in my opinion, its nicer to care than to 'hate'.
leaving a hug for you
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| Posted in
Something to think about on 2007-09-28 12:52:25 |
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hugs you, i am still fairly new and i am still getting used to the site and all the blogs there are to read.
am sure people will get a proper chance to read and comment.
dont take it personally, as i think there are so many posts and blogs and not all people know what to say in reply, or, they see a comment they wanted to put down themselves, thus leave nothing even if they have read it, i know because i have done that myself.
as the thoughts staff has suggested, give it time, just because there is no comment left, doesnt mean your entries havent been read and appreciated
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| Posted in
Please someone talk to me, help me? on 2007-09-28 12:29:34 |
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you do exist and you found the courage to write your feelings down - it is a start.
does your family including yourself get any outside help with the strains of your little brothers condition?
it really does sound like all all need not only some proper help with him to give you all some time out and, also they may help on how the family can deal with him - so that you all can try and bond and again and be less stressed.
you yourself have found strength in asking and for the weaker side to be taking a grasp, it is frightening.
firstly, is there anyone where you live that you can talk to? a friend, anyone?
otherwise, all i can suggest is looking up on the net for support groups dealing with depression worldwide, the one i use is; befrienders.org.
also, have you been able look up to see if there is any help about in regards to support for your brothers condition and all the family too? there has to be some support network that will help all of you.
hug
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| Posted in
Hand Injuries?? on 2007-09-28 12:18:48 |
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hoping your hands heal soon and wishing you the best of luck that a job offer is forthcoming for you
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| Posted in
What the F--ck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! on 2007-09-27 16:24:33 |
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wondering if he is acting like that as he can not understand why you haven't said much or done much and wants to see if you have written about him, so i agree with what Mamacita925 says, though maybe not stoop to his level, just keep him sweating.
as for privacy, agreed, strange how its alright for him to do it to you, but do the same back just to show him what it feels like? does he like it? course not.
guess this applies to women too, but some men? more trouble than what they are worth. hug
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| Posted in
Can I get opinions?!?! on 2007-09-27 16:14:38 |
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your poems are extremely well written and most importantly, from the heart, that make them more expressive.
its strange how we who write poetry always seem to do the better works on the most sensitive subjects.
please keep writing them, especially if it is a therapy for you to do also.
adding, and maybe you should consider writing to a magazine and get these published?
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| Posted in
Im Screaming, Im Crying && Still!!! No-one can hea on 2007-09-27 15:28:10 |
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feels for you. its sad your family arent supportive and that you feel so alone. you are right, only you know how you feel inside, people will try and tell you this that and the other, but in truth, unless they are 'you' they dont know how hard it is.
i hope you feel you can come back here if you feel safe to write, then do so.
hug
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| Posted in
Mom on 2007-09-27 15:21:36 |
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it is the anger, you have suffered a major loss.
grief is heighten especially around the 6 mth period, thats when the process does tend to turn more to anger.
hold in there and know she is looking down on you and is with you in spirit.
hugging you, take care and i am sorry for your loss
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| Posted in
ANGRY AND UPSET on 2007-09-27 15:12:16 |
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hoping you get your account fixed soon
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| Posted in
back on 2007-09-27 15:09:58 |
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am trying and also trying to smile. thank you for your kind words hon, not sure i am all those things, but guess thats due to the way i feel and always have done.
hugs you, i am so terribly sorry to about your husband and to lose him in such a tragic way also, hugs you again.
nods, suffered from it all my life so unless someone waves a magic wand, i can only hope for alittle light and strength especially currently and as i said, while i have my mother and dog with me and to look after them, i vow to keep fighting.
bless you so much and please take care of you and look after yourself
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| Posted in
holding back tears on 2007-09-27 15:03:17 |
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nodding, thats what i have always done, take each day as it comes.
mum understands even though she is elderly, after all, i have been this way since she adopted me, so i guess thats why i feel such a 'burden' to her - even though she has told me time and time again i am not a burden, i still feel it.
shes my best friend and we get on great, we are very very close and i am her carer also.
and of course, as well as my dog, they both come first in my life.
guess i feel guilty for not being 'normal' and confident due to my very overbearing weaker side.
but bless you and thank you for your response sweetheart, means alot right now. hugs to you
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| Posted in
very depressed today on 2007-09-26 13:32:04 |
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if you cant afford it then leave it for now, there is always the future and for perhaps a better car?
wipe those eyes hon, you are far from a loser. hug
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| Posted in
Isolation on 2007-09-26 11:00:56 |
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can understand this completely and this is what i do.
yes, baby steps, thats all you can do dont force yourself to do more than you feel able, it wilol knock you back further. blessed be
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| Posted in
I just want to vomit on 2007-09-25 17:44:53 |
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all i can offer right now, is a hug and sending good thoughts your way sweetheart
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| Posted in
fighting on 2007-09-25 17:41:04 |
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bless you, yes you made me smile and i agree, laughter helps alot as does knowing someone has taken time to 'hear' you, it does help me when i am so low like i am.
so no didnt take it wrongly at all, i have a gsoh believe it or not, just lots of lows in between. just, thank you and warmest hug of gratitude
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| Posted in
listening to sufjan stevens and crying over ex cru on 2007-09-25 17:11:22 |
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saying nothing but wrapping you in a hug and giving a slow nod of understanding
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| Posted in
my guardian angel on 2007-09-25 17:08:56 |
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leaves a warm hug as i believe very much in angels and talk to my guardian angel too.
this is beautiful and it helped stop my own tears. we all have an angel looking down on us
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