keeping my mood light as possible, hence using colour in my text..soft smile.

Spine is quite comfy tonight - I am tolerating it - neck and shoulder is giving me more pain though, which is a nusiance. But I do have numerous health problems, thus am used to being in pain 24/7, although in saying that, its all I am 'used' too, so havent alot of choice but to just cope as you do and as I have always tried to.

Hospital think I may need an op of my knee, a replacement, but they wont do it yet [not that I mind - I do not like hospitals, let alone ops] but due to me being young, they want to leave it - fine by me

[Last op I had involving my neck and shoulder, which I hasten to add, was only entered into, as I was told it would improve my pain - but it was the complete opposite and also, its played up more on my OA in my neck. Arrrgh]

Trouble is, because I have always been partially sighted [note - I have great vision in my right eye, but virtually nothing in left eye as in focus for example]

This is still most odd writing all this down, I still truly feel 'selfish' by writing about myself - silly really, considering this is a blog and thats the general idea - also, others have asked me to share and, I will ..soft smile.

Busy day today, yes, usual hi light of the day, going along my village shops, sitting outside and having a coffee - my lucky day, had a couple of hugs and kisses too [from a couple of male friends] ..lil grin ..was nice, made my day, as well as seeing many people and talking for ages to complete 'strangers' [sorry, but I am always freiendly, giving a smile and a hello, guess that makes me more approachable and people instantly relax, so its nice really]

Still bright and sunny, but cool  -  is now dark obviously and am just as I
typing, looking out the window - shame we dont see stars as often, used to love peering up at the stars, seeing them twinkle - sky looks 'clear' but shame - just the black sky of night time and not a single lil star anywhere.

After doing some chores indoors [blimey, sometimes seems endless, all the silly lil jobs seem to take ages] Mum is okay btw, still a lil chesty, but she seems okay, thats the main thing - she is now settled in bed, thus I am able to relax more.

Oh, went into the online chatsite today into my public room, left a note to say hello etc etc - gosh, been a member there over seven years, I find it terribly sad its gone downhill and all the slyness and backstabbing there, its not to my taste - do I miss it? do I miss the chats and fun? aye, I do - but I can not be in a place that has caused myself rt pain and also, t, he left the chatsite, he'd had enough of it too - so thats another good soul driven away.
Plus also, its difficult, have been deeply hurt by that other guy [if youve read previous blogs, you'll know what I am talking about] that has been difficult enough, but to be betrayed by friends and yet still have no idea truly which one of the three females did it [although, judging by the fact two of them have not been in my room, nor been in contact - it narrows it down] it really rocks your trust and its an awful feeling when you truly dont know who is being truthful to you - yes, a chatesite [especially that one - actually aptly named] should be a place to have fun, enjoy, get away from rt etc etc - but, it shouldnt give people the green light to abuse and mess around others
- afterall, we all have feelings, we are all real people behind the screen of the computer [and I am certainly real] and yes, I went there for fun, friends and to help, used to enjoy the corks, talk in the rooms, or in private rooms/whispers etc - but I never went there to hurt a person - I can not begin to understand the mentallity of those who wish to do that, do they not realise it does affect rt? Yes, I have been told, 'delvelope a thicker skin' aye, agreed, but when its your 'friends' messing with you? its not so easy.

but, aye, I do miss the fun and laughs in the open, that I admit.

Okay, off that subject and place - oh, whilst I was waiting for the ruggers kickoff, I did myself a nice jacket potato - havent had one of those in a long time - yes, I do watch to a degree what I eat, but I really enjoyed it - then came back here, only to find a comment about someone liking mash etc in a thread in the forum - so she read my mind - so enjoyed that - even if I didnt enjoy seeing England getting defeated - lil laugh, but as I say, nevermind, thats the way the cookie crumbles.

Soooo, will take some pk's now, off patches for awhile thankfully, may put my tens on, that helps take mind off of pain.
Depression wise? am okay ..soft smile ..keeping it in control as per usual and reading some blogs with jokes in has been great also
so thought I'd bore you all witless by making another rambling entry to bore you all to tears - wink

Hoping everyone is having a good w/e as is possible, think now I will go and do some more fiddling about with photo's with my PSP, perhaps read some blogs and turn my hotmail messenger on and listen to some music

love & light always

A