well i try really hard to be patient while i watch him with her. no one thinks they're happy. especially me. but if they're not then what does that mean for me? that he'd rather be unhappy than with me... i can't think of that. it's awful. you know what's sad...? even her friends think we're better for each other than they are. they tell me all the time... and they have no clue of my real feelings. it excites me to think there is an obvious connection between us. i want to be with him so badly. but then again there is this other boy that i am beginning to care about....not the way i love jacob...no, that can't be replicated...but i do care for him and he seems to care for me. however, he is far away at the moment... i guess that's my all so famous luck with boys huh...? i feel like if i try to have a relationship with him i'll miss out on jacob... i do love him so much. i guess that's just another thing to pray about. pray for patience, strength...and for a miracle.