I'm glad this weekend is over!! I don't understand how some mothers can be so cruel to a child. I have always taught my children to respect others, and to treat other children how they would want to be treated, EVEN if they don't particularly like another child. Well this weekend I discovered how cruel and hateful another mother can be... by teaching her own child to hate and be hateful. My daughter is 10 years old. She is a beautiful little girl, in every way...inside and out. She is incredibly kind, very well liked by others, adults as well as her little peers. She has 3 problems...first is she is ADD, second she is OCD, and the third which use to be her greatest asset, but now I'm afraid may end up being her biggest burden, is her huge heart. I watched it break for the first time on Saturday, and it tore mine apart. We have neighbors that have a little girl (if I can call her that) now I'm being mean, the same age as my daughter. From the time they were small this neighbor girl has always competed for attention with my daughter. My daughter has never really liked her. I have ALWAYS preached about ignoring peoples qualities that we don't especially find attractive, and concentrate on their better qualities...everyone has them, right??? Well this weekend...the neighbor girl, goes and invites, my daughters best friend to her house, and plays with her outside in the front yard for my daughter to see...and of course, my daughter, gets all excited, and runs over there, thinking she'd be welcome to play too, since the neighbor girl plays at our house when my daughter is outside...well as soon as my daughter gets there...this girl says..."You're not welcome to play with us, and grabs my daughters best friend's arm and pulls her into the house. Her best friend just looks back and said..."Sorry...I didn't know ", and the door slammed. Her Mom opened the door and told my daughter to go home she wasn't invited. To make things worse...today (Sunday) morning, the mean little neighbor girl got up and invited the two other kids my daughter plays with in our neighborhood over to play in their backyard, and locked their gate purposely not inviting my daughter (mind you, they have NEVER invited these two children ever before). Later before the Super Bowl started, those kids went home, and the girl came out to her front yard and tried to play with my daughter, I walked outside, and called her in the house, because I was so pissed off, I didn't want her to try to use my little girl just because everyone else had to go inside. So how do I maintain this..."there's good in everybody" when I see a mother allowing her child to do this(yes she was outside, aware of this the entire time)??? When my little girl asks me "Why can't I tell her off? Why can't I tell her, this is why no one likes her?" I have to tell her, "because that is mean, and she is better than that." Why does a little girl at the age of 10 have to understand what hatred is? She is struggling with so much already. She spends time each week with her counselor, just to try to understand why certain things eat away at her...(OCD)...why she can't concentrate..(ADD)...What did she ever do to anyone???
Posted by keepdreaming on 2008-02-04 01:49:43 | Rating: | Views: 98
People can be soooooooo cruel.
Bless your little girls heart. I think every child goes through this at one point or another.
The bratty little girl and her Mother are here to teach you and Daughter forgivness. Remember every person comes into our life for a reason, for a season or for a lifetime.
You sound like a good Mother and good for you to teach your Daughter that it is not ok to be mean.
Peace
there is a book i began reading that i found positively fascinating. it has to do with the secret 'culture' of females. it's called 'odd girl out' but i can't remember the author's name off the top of my head. i'm not sure if it would offer any help as to how to deal with it (for both u & your daughter) because i unfortunately haven't finished it yet... but perhaps it could help you in some way... insight? spark an idea? worth a look :)
btw i think that you should continue to teach the same ideals & morals to your daughter because they are definitely going to help her be a better person. thought it's almost unthinkable that another mother would allow something like that to go on, perhaps there is a deeper reasoning behind it. we only know what we are told or can physically see/hear about other's lives... stay strong!
I have to tell you something that I had to do for my youngest son's sake....We have these neighbor boys(twins) who have been my son's friend for about 2 years...Always out side playing together and stuff...Well if one of the twins went home and told his mom that my son wasn't playing nice and with them both, she inturn would call me for the other son to come home...No big deal right??Then comes the problems of things happening , the twins would tell their mom that my son was doing this or that (of course this mother believed her boys never lied to her), even if they were apart of things happening, they always said that my son started it or what not....Anyway, to make a long story shorter..........I had to finally end the friendship with these boys for my son's sake....Crazy I know but this mother would call me up for every little thing and wouldn't believe that her twins could do any wrong....So I just told her that we needed to end their friendship because I was tired of her little ones blaming my son for things they did too...It was a long summer this past year, because I live in an addition where there aren't alot of little kids around...........But thank God we found some new friends to play with....Sometimes we need to teach our children that some kids are just nasty but they can still love them from a distance.....
Thank You for sharing that Hollis!! It really is an uphill battle to teach our kids to forgive and treat others kindly, in the face of ugliness. There is so much of that around them as young children. More so than when I was young. I won't ever give up the fight though! God Bless!
Bless your daughter's little heart. This post brought back memories of my childhood days. I was always the one left out ... always the one never asked to play. This is such a difficult situation with no easy answers. These kinds of hurtful things can affect our entire lives. Even in adulthood the memories seem as if they happened yesterday. It's impossible to shield our children from the hurts and pains of this world. However we can constantly remind them that they are special, they are unique they are beautiful, they are loved. We can say "It's a shame Sally doesn't want to play with you ... a shame that Sally is missing out on knowing a wonderful caring kind person." Bad behavior and meanness pour forth from a wounded and hurting soul. We have no idea the wounds this little neighbor girl has sustained. My prayers are with all involved.
Peace
Posted again because of spelling error ... Keep dreaming please delete post above thanks.
I know what you mean Colorado Dreamin!
When a child is young, everything seems to be more painful...their hurts are more heartbreaking because they are so new. The first time they are betrayed by a friend is devastating because of their innocence. I wasn't much older than my daughter is when I lost my mother, so it's just a natural reflex of mine to try to protect all 3 of my children from that kind of stripping emotional pain. At least for a while longer. My daddy brought me up not to hate. He was my father and mother for most of my life and he always told me that my mother would help me "find love in my heart" if I was having trouble finding it myself, and he was right, she did. That is why your post you wrote about your dad brought me to tears. Thank you for the special gift you share everytime you respond or comment. God Bless!
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