Posted by
brainstormer
on 2008-02-04 21:26:38 |
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| I cant even read the whole post...how do you marry someone who doesn't let you in? I thought that was part of the "deal". Privacy is somewhat sacrificed when married. I'd be okay with having private rooms even for some personal time...but to not feel/have that connection you want. That feels wrong. |
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Posted by
keepdreaming
on 2008-02-04 23:30:53 |
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| Thank you for validating my feelings braistormer. It does feel wrong. I've been married over 15 years and it's always been this way. He's wonderful in every other way, but it's not the close, wonderful heart to heart love that I would think a marriage should be. Have I just wished and wanted a "fairy tale" or is this bonding of hearts what a real people have? |
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Posted by
Hollis
on 2008-02-05 00:31:24 |
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| you must of had it before..You are lucky enough to have givng than to recieve..My hubby and I have been married for 14 years and he too is very private with his heart.I have just learned to love him for him and keep my heart open to his love when he is ready...Thanks for this blog..........Love will open one day again..... |
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Posted by
trevorjohn
on 2008-02-05 11:44:13 |
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I have learned true intimacy does not have to come from your spouse. It can come from friends and family. I have filled that void myself with others. My husband is starting to share his heart little by little after 24 years of being with me. He has never had a broken heart. I don't know where the void has come from with him.
He is the most wonderful man I have ever met and so I weigh the pros and cons of our marriage and the pros list goes on and on, the cons list has one black mark, vulnerability.
I had a relationship once that was intimate and vulnerable and that caused me more heartache and pain then anything in my life. The control and jealousy that came with that was more then I could take. This man loved me so much he didn't want anyone to have any part of my heart. Happy medium would be nice.
Keep the faith my friend. |
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Posted by
keepdreaming
on 2008-02-05 12:30:04 |
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| Thank you so much TrevorJohn!!!!! WOW, you are right...I never looked at it that way. You are opening up my eyes to see thing a whole new way. Thank you. I'm happy your husband is such a wonderful man, because you deserve that! God Bless! |
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Posted by
trevorjohn
on 2008-02-05 13:14:16 |
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| I feel it, you deserve a good man too! |
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Posted by
ColoradoDreamin
on 2008-02-05 22:42:09 |
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| I have had intimacy and emotional closeness several times in my life, but never in the context of marriage. It's something I crave ... something that, for me, is very hard to live without. Life can be so complicated sometimes. I wish you the best. Peace |
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Posted by
brainstormer
on 2008-02-06 01:58:51 |
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| I cannot believe my eyes. At least 3 married people with the same situation. And after being married over 10 years?? It cannot be a fairy tale wish. I can picture myself in the same relationships...but, if I never openned up to my wife...how would she ever want to stay with me? I have closed myself off before or failed to approach and expose and lost many an opportunity. To be married that long and still not feel one with your mate...I cannot imagine. I suppose in a strange way it is a good thing...for self-preservation/protection sake just in case something came up that would break the marriage. At least in that case, hearts would be buffered. But... I dunno. Just feels cold. Might as well be an online marriage. Or why can't two people stay together without the certificate and ring biz til they are ready to be that close? Why rush marriage? |
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Posted by
keepdreaming
on 2008-02-06 03:28:42 |
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Geez, I don't know brainstormer...maybe our husbands are just so darn sexy we can't throw them out with the laundry, what do ya think??? (I'm teasing you?)
I say...GOOD FOR YOU!!! Your wife's a lucky lady! I know a lot of women who have a wonderful very intimate relationship with their husbands. I've always envied that. My husband is very sweet, kind and loving, and from the outside, people would think we were the perfect couple, (so do I, except for him not sharing his feelings) he acts like it's a weakness of something. But you sound like you have it right. Good Job! Now go clean the house! :) ;) |
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Posted by
trevorjohn
on 2008-02-06 08:18:33 |
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I'm envious as hell of a women that has it all in one package brianstormer.
It doesn't happen very often, thats for sure.
Like keepdreamings husband, my husband is perfect, just unemotional. I dont ever give up on him tho'
My husband is loyal, charming, kind, considerate, compassionate, honest, loving, funny!
He is sexy too!
I have not ever seen a man that comes close. If I did whoa hold me back baby.
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Posted by
brainstormer
on 2008-02-09 03:40:50 |
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| Simply scratches his head and shrugs. Did I SAY I was MARRIED?:P Well, that's about all I can say about that(forest gump). |
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