Thoughts.com Blogs - single again....

so i am single again. yep. this past sunday night he ended it. i started the conversation, had every intention of ending it myself but than he jumped right in. he started agreeing that it wasnt working out anymore. so cold and stone faced and all of a sudden i didnt want it to be over yet. but he did. he is convinced. so now after nights of not sleeping and days of not eating (no not bc i am a stupid girl just because i have no appetite and get nauseous when i try to eat) i am still trying to figure out if this was the right thing or not. yesterday i started the process of getting on with my life. went running again, started flirting again, doing all the things i use to do or planned on starting until he dumped me. the past few days i basically just layed on the couch occasionally crying and mostly watching tv. yeah pathetic i know. but i needed my time to be depressed and pathetic and now i am over that and i am up and motivated and going to start the moving on process. we want to stay friends and he suggested we hang out tonight but i think i need more time. i dont think i can hang out with him right now without it feeling wierd or me crying and that was one thing i was proud of. on sunday night i handled it very maturely and i waited until he couldnt see me anymore before i started crying. he doesnt know how its affected me and im glad. i didnt want him too.