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life is very boring and unpredictable .. the more u want to get it , the ,more it would not happen... today i fall sick ,,,no one to be take care of ,,i take care of myself.. when people ask why i couldn't get a bf??? the answer i could answer is its not time yet but the main reasons is no one will ever want me as what i am ... they think i am tooo good for them that they don't deserve me.. what a joke ,,, i am a human being too.. although i am too independent will make people scareed of me?? i guess will make people laugh.. but things is getting worse,, all my fren is either married or in a relationship that makes me the only single available in the place... sometimes when i really need someone to talk to ,i will find no one except to God... when i am sick or too stress up this really leaves me to settle on my own . My best destress time is study and study and music. sometimes i rather not eat when no one accompany me to and sometimes i will tends to sleep at home rather than alone outside.. The more i am stress the more i will be somewhere in another world.. to me a fantasy world is better that reality..
i know i cannot survive like this ... i know i need to go on whetever it is alone or be with some one else... but when i really need to talk ,,, crying is my best solution... i rather live in a fantasy world rather that surviving in a world that hates singles...
its not that i haven;t been in a relationship before.. i had previously...but it all end up after a few months .. all of them are now happy moving on with other partner.. i am happy for them but i rather close my feeling ups rather than letting them know my real feeling ... i still can't figure why i choose to come to this place at the first place ... out of running away from someone else --- it been a place of the most stressful place i ever encountered. i feel like rather running away again to somewhere else where i can have the best and most relax things to do...
i know i have to face the fact i cannot live alone ... whetever how much i try and how much i work for it ,,, they always think i am their brother rrather a good or potential gf ...
how sad it is when i saw them chasing another girl and asking for opinion from me or to get closer to me just to get know my frens... the faact is true and its happening many times ..
anyway i know that life is life .. no matter how i hate that i still have to live on no matter what ... i still to accept my fate......
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Posted by kawaides on 2008-05-06 09:57:21 | Rating: | Views: 43
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