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always wanting what we cant have?

so i guess you've all heard of that saying.
its a pretty common one.
and so i've realised that it is verrrry true of me.
but recently i've been thinking about it, and im thinking/ hoping that i DIDNT hurt anyone in the process.
maybe i should do some explaining...

okay this is gonna be really hard to explain and probably really hard to understand but i'll try my best.
lets say that i see someone that i think would be a good friend to have.. like i think they seem really fun and i think i'd really like to be their friend or something right. but i dont speak to this person at all or we arent really good friends or have just became friends.
it sorta happens in stages, first, i do all the chasing.. i make all the effort to talk to this person and sort of obsessed about this person, but not stalker obsessed just where i get really excited and nervous when i get a message back from them or something and then gradually talk to them more and more to the point where we are considered semi good friends. this is the good stage, we are getting closer friends and i was right they are the person i thought they were and a good friend and everything like that. the friendship is more even now, it isnt just me doing all the chasing.that is the second stage. so a bit after the second stage im really happy with the friendship and me and the person are messaging eachother all the time and everything and we're all happy.
but then the third stage starts to come in..
something, it could be the tiniest imperfection at all of this person occurs, they say a certain thing too much or something really small starts to annoy me, and so i back off a little bit. and then usually the person starts questioning it. and i back further away. the person has become as dependent on me as i was on them and i guess that scares me. i dont really like people depending on me because i dont like depending on anyone incase they arent there when i need them. it seems sort of silly when i write it out.
but i have a real problem with getting really close with people because i know in the end, they'll get a boyfriend or girlfriend and i'll be ditched.
i dont wanna hear anyone say that it wont happy because i know it does.
im an observer, i observe peoples relationships and friendships
and i guess its coz im pretty pessimistic at the moment.
but seriously i dont see the point when in the end you'll just drift away from them anyway.
this has really gone off topic.
OKAY so they wanna hang out with me all the time and i sorta just eventually stop wanting to be good friends with them, i dont know why, i do know that it sounds really harsh though.
i just really hope that i havent hurt anyone by doing it.
coz i know other people do it aswell and it has happened to me and it really hurt.
its sort of happening now and i hate it.

this is more of a ramble than anything else.
sorry!
i dont think it makes sense either.
whatevs.

POINT OF BLOG.
i always want things/people that i cant have and then when i get it/them i dont want it/them anymore.
fix me.
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