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Luis did it again
Januarary.10,2008
Current mood: betrayed
My heart has completely been shut down burned up into ashes and blown away so ever since luis and i started dating back in 2003 i found he would look at naked girls and they would shake their ass and play with their self and he would actually would save these things to his computer or burn it to a dvd for future use well i had asked him to stop and he said he would well further down the road he did it again and it hurts me making me feel ugly and not sexy and like im not good enough.. i cried really hard and asked him to stop again so he promised he would well further down the road he did it again and again and again well each time i gave him a new chance because i love him so much well guess what this one is my fault for believing he had finally stopped and was cherishing only me. Well i am completely wrong he has been doing it all through the years and now come to find out the last time he had done it was back around thanksgiving .
I am soo hurt i think i might leave him for good go back to Maryland. He just does not see anything wrong with looking, but to me its the same as him cheating. watching porn i would not care because that’s somewhat sexy and intimate but just girls trying to please them self for you and do things to please you makes me feel in adequate he should have just been cheating on me because its the same hurt feeling and that way he would at least be physically pleased for all i know he could be cheating on me as well who knows i can't trust him ever again. i can't stop balling my eyes out and im due to have the baby any day now I’m worried about hurting the baby from all the crying.
I am so confused on what to do i want a divorce that’s how bad it hurts and I just can’t take it anymore, but i don't believe in those the Lord says to stand by them through thick and thin unless your being physically abused, i want to leave and go to Maryland but am afraid he will take my son away and move on in life without me which would hurt me even more, plus the biggest of all i am still in love with the pervert and my heart is just burning and eating me alive. I hurt inside so much i seriously want to die I just can’t stop crying I have a hard time breathing. Please someone just kill me and let the perv. have our son. this is just as bad if not worse then him really cheating on me because these woman are not real they are just in a video and yet gets more plessure from that then me plus he has acess to it 24/7 from the interent so he can indulge in it when ever where ever. How do you compete with the woman in videos?
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Posted by kate86 on 2008-01-12 16:39:50 | Rating: | Views: 102
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I'm so sorry for your pain. Can I just tell you though that Men are Visual creatures and my ex-husband (and many other men) do the same. He also had a pile of pornographic magazines.
Don't take it personal. I believe It is far worse if he was with other women - which my ex- ended up doing - but I don't think the two are related.
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Posted by EasyToSay
on 2008-01-12 16:55:13
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For the partner of a sex addict, the pain is not as simple as "letting it go". Our society has made it a "rite of passage" for men to collect women as objects. It is not okay to objectify woman, or men. People are unique with spirit, feelings and flesh. The best thing is talking about it and taking care of yourself.
A person that has an obsession to porn, usually progresses to more deviant pictures and many evolve to personals, masseuses, and prostitutes. Like addiiton to alcohol and drugs-an addiciton to porn will progress without treatment.
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Posted by truebluepa
on 2008-01-29 13:08:34
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