When I drive around Brisbane I see a lot of people talking on their phones when they drive. That really annoys me. We all know it’s illegal in Queensland (and I’m pretty sure in every other state in Australia), and we all know how distracting it is. I don’t know how many times I’ve been behind a person who’s swerving gently from lane to lane like they’re freakin Stevie Wonder. Then you see why: they’re gas-bagging on their phone.

I’m now going to try and clear up some misconceptions Queensland drivers seem to have with regards to using mobiles and driving:

1) Holding the phone at chin level does NOT constitute ‘hands-free’.

People seem to think that moving a phone from their ear to their chin makes it legal. What planet are you on? Must be that extra 20cm of movement from ear to chin that makes it safe, apparently. You’re committing the offence if you are using your HAND to hold a PHONE whilst you USE it (regardless if it’s stuck to your ear or your chin).

2) “I wasn’t actually speaking on the phone”

Typing/reading a text while driving is also illegal and counts as an offence, because guess what? You’re still USING your phone. The offence is not “Driver SPEAKS on hand held phone” it’s “driver USE hand held phone.”

Using your phone to text and drive is probably more dangerous than talking and driving. It displays an absolute lack of consideration for your own safety as well as all the people around you while you look down at your keypad and tell mum you’ll be home soon...

3) “I wasn’t actually driving at the time...”

Being stopped at a red light and talking on your hand held phone is also illegal. Your vehicle must be out of gear with the hand brake engaged, otherwise you’re still considered to be in control of your vehicle. So either pull over out of traffic and park your car, or don’t use the phone.

If you want proof of just how dangerous and stupid talking on a phone while you drive is, watch the MYTHBUSTERS episode where they try and perform some basic manoeuvres in a car while having a conversation on a phone.

Mobile phones are a menace on public transport too - the most annoying person on there is the person using their mobile. Their phone goes off as soon as they get on the train and you just know the conversation’s gonna last the entire journey. It’s like they need to show off that someone has called them, like they’re soooo popular, they can’t even go a train ride without someone wanting to talk to them.

“Look at me!!! I’m on the phone! I’m having an important conversation while you’re all sitting there trying to enjoy some peace!”

And they always talk at top pitch like they’re using a tin can and a piece of string. No need to shout people!!! Talking louder will NOT increase the strength of your mobile’s SIGNAL...it will simply increase the strength and frequency of HAND signals directed at YOU!!!