I’ve got this rice from Thailand at home that says it was packaged in a building in Bangkok.....on the 27th floor. Thailand is a champion producer of rice and they have discovered that the best place to take millions upon millions of tiny rice grains before putting them into a packet is 27 stories up in a high rise?  It begs the question,
“What’s wrong with the ground floor?????”

Was the 27th floor the only office space left in Bangkok? How do they take the rice upstairs to be packaged in the first place? Is there a little Thai man moving wheelie bins of it from the rice paddies into the lift and up to the 27th floor? It must be so difficult to get in and out of the lift with all the other workers in the building....I bet he gets asked every time too “Wow! You’re going to 27 with that?! That’s a lot of rice! Why don’t they just pack it on the ground floor?”

When a fancy menu has something served on rice, they always say it’s “on a bed of rice.” What’s that a sealy posturepedic bed of rice? What’s wrong with just saying a pile of rice?

They have to describe things in a really exaggerated way to make it sound nicer that it really is. By the time you finish reading “a warm drizzling of sauce over a petite cutlet accompanied with segmented lemons encased in a delectable pastry case finished with a mint glaze on a bed of rice ..” you’re left wondering what exactly IS that? Is it meat? Is it fish? What am I ordering? Can somebody translate this for me?

 I just want a steak!