Dear Mr Hairy-Legs,

I am writing to you in relation to your web that you persist in spinning straight across the road I ride my bicycle along each night. I have found your selected habitat location to be quite at odds with my preferred route home from the nearby train station.

I'm sure by now that you must have noticed that at approximately 10:40pm each night, your home is unceremoniously ruined by a whirlwind cyclist. That cyclist is me.

As it is dark by the time I'm powering home, I am unable to see your lovely abode until it is sprayed across my face (as you have an uncanny knack for building your web at my head height). This is not only dangerous for me, as I wobble precariously along trying to establish if I have accidently picked up you and your wife and children somewhere on my body as I crashed through your home, but I'm sure it must be costly for you in not only the time and effort spent spinning your beautiful web across the 4 metre wide road, but it must also be an inconvenience having to produce so much web from your butt each night.

To solve this problem in which we are equally affected, may I suggested you relocate to a more appropriate location, such as the creek beside the previously mentioned road with ample more appropriate web-spinning locations such as trees.

Happy web-space hunting. I look forward to your response.

Sincerely,

kaos.

PS  are you online yet? I highly reccommend the web as a great place to just hang out, meet new friends and even find food to eat.