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Some strange and unsettling things are occurring in today’s fashion world, and it’s not only on the crazy catwalks where they wear clothes that you’d never actually see anybody wearing. Yes, these faux pars are occurring right in my own backyard! Here’s a few of my concerns:
EYEBROWS: Like their name suggests, these brows belong over your EYES, not rapidly disappearing upwards at a 45 degree angle into your hairline! And as for the really pointy shaped ones, what’s going on there? Were you using a set square as a template for shaping your brows? Watch out Mr Spock! There’s a whole new generation of pointy-eye- browed people running around- and they all look like your love child...
BUM BAGS ON MEN: I think that in America what we, in Australia, refer to as “bum bags” are known as “fanny packs.” I’m not the biggest fan of this accessory to start with, but I really don’t like seeing a man with a bum bag/fanny pack slung over his shoulder like it’s a man-bag/hand bag.
Your bum/fanny isn’t on your shoulder, so please use the waist strap provided and let this accessory reflect the name it was given by wearing it correctly on your BUM/FANNY! Otherwise you should rename it the “shoulder bag” Oh wait, they already have those and they’re used by WOMEN!
FLURO CLOTHING: I don’t know if this is a world-wide phenomenon or if it’s being kept as Australia’s dirty little secret, but fluorescent clothing is back for a second time. It was bad enough in the 80’s and as a result we made fun of it all through the 90’s, and now you want to re-visit it? You all look like a workplace health and safety clothing convention gone wrong!
The teeny-bopper shops are crammed to the roof with this stuff and it makes me want to don a pair of enormously oversized sun glasses to keep the brightness at bay as I walk past.
SAGGY PANTS/ CROTCH AROUND THE KNEES: This domain firmly belongs to the boys. Why bother wearing pants at all if you’re not going to use them to cover your arse with them? It’s not cool having the waist band of your pants nearing the tops of your thighs, and it’s not pleasant for me having to see 5 inches of your best skid-marked undies getting around town. Forgive me for my sudden urges to run over to you and either
a: Place some slight downwards pressure on your pants and watch as they fall to your ankles (and it would only take a pinky finger to do that)
or
b: Give you the all-time biggest wedgie to pull your pants up so high that you can peer out through your fly.
THE MUFFIN TOP: This atrocity I'm sad to say belongs to the ladies. It refers to the volumes of flesh pouring over the tops of too-tight pants/skirts, thus making you look like a freshly baked muffin (but not nearly as appealing as the choc-chip variety).
There ARE bigger sizes available! If you thought you would be able to lose that 10 kilos to allow you to pour yourself into that item of clothing, let me be the first to tell you: YOU WERE WRONG! YOU NEED A BIGGER SIZE!!! PEOPLE ARE LAUGHING AT YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE IN DENIAL!!
This phenomenon isn’t only affecting people on the larger side; it’s also girls who ordinarily, in the correct sized clothes, would look healthy and attractive. But they too insist on looking like the latest batch of Betty Crocker specials by donning clothing 2 sizes down from comfortable.
LADIES, WEAR A PROPER BRA!
Women of the world, if you have cleavage, please contain it in a suitable-fitting bra! Saggy boobs are not a good look. Nor are boobs that wibble-wobble like jelly on a plate. If you are utilising the services of a brassiere, please ensure it’s capable of meeting the demands placed on it according to the level of activity likely to be undertaken by your boobs. For example, if you are intending on taking an aerobics class today, don’t wear a push up bra, try a sports bra instead.
Similarly, a bra does not fit you if there are mounds of flesh bursting over the top of it: The muffin top does not only occur over a waistband, it can also occur over the top of a bra. It makes you look like you have 4 boobs and belong in a Science fiction porno.
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Posted by kaos264 on 2007-12-10 17:47:09 | Rating: | Views: 111
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hhi kaaos!
tththis ssci-fii ppronno is too mmmuch!!! tthere aare too mmanyy off thoose aarounnd!!
::o)
cheerss!!!
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Posted by badlydrawnstickman
on 2007-12-10 20:46:31
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I say give the saggy panted fellows a wedgie...that sounds like fun! Ha, ha! You crack me up! Thank you! :)
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Posted by Mandie142
on 2007-12-11 11:31:07
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