We’re being increasingly subjected to some incredibly annoying TV shows on our screens at the moment, especially those shows with question marks in their titles.
I’ll start with “So You Think You Can Dance?”
Why the hell does that crazy Mary judge woman FEEL THE NEED TO SOUND LIKE SHE’S ALWAYS SHOUTING WHENEVER SHE TALKS!!?!?!?!? It is possible to speak at a volume that doesn’t hurt everyone’s ears, you know. Has no-one pointed out to her that she has a little thing called a ‘microphone’ sitting in front of her? You WILL be heard. I don’t want to have to hit the mute button and still be able to hear you every time I channel surf to your show between ads.
The people on this show don’t just THINK they can dance, they KNOW they can dance. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have entered the competition in the first place.
“Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?”
Well I bloody well hope so! Otherwise I might need to make a quick return to primary school for some revision and perhaps I shouldn’t have a job. This show is just embarrassing. Not only are the kids miniature loser nerds in the making (you know they type: they’ll be correcting people all the time “It’s IMperfection, not INperfection”.
{As a side note, are there loser nerds at Google that sit there waiting for us to type in a wrong search word so they can correct you each time? “Did you mean: imperfection” ,} I like those fancy brackets.
Where was I? Oh yes, the list of loser nerd characteristics: avid users of pocket protectors, riding bicycles with one of those things that holds your trouser leg up and away from the grease etc etc.
This show is just a showcase for the smart Asian kids to show off just how intelligent you have to be to beat the dumb adult contestants on this show ie. Not very intelligent at all. But they’ll still kick your dumb ass to the curb.
“Dancing with the stars”
More like PRANCING with the Tarts. This show is just a chance for the B.C and D list celebrities whose career has come to a grinding halt and who normally wouldn’t be caught dead doing a tango to once again over-expose themselves and their failings to the viewing masses.
Some shows have some widespread success that they immediately think that more success would follow by having spin-offs of their own show.
CSI
Just how many CSI’s can there be before every prime time slot is filled with televised dimly lit laboratories, bearded men making smug and profound statements:
“If you chase two rabbits, you lose them both."
You know your city has really made it big if there’s a CSI show dedicated to it. Well either that or your city has an unusually high murder rate...New York, Las Vegas, Miami....
Law and Order
There’s plain old Law and Order, Law and Order S.V.U, Law and Order C.I. What’s next? Law and Order T.O.O. M.A.N.Y. S.H.O.W.S?
Even comedies have tried the well-trodden spin off show:"Cheers" resulted in the highly successful “Frasier”
Friends tried to tred in the same territory as Cheers/Frasier with the abomination that was “Joey.” I can’t believe they’ve actually released that torturous show on DVD. The only use those discs should ever get should be as coasters, frisbees for your dog and as a thing to prop underneath that wonky table, or maybe as an interrogation technique for terrorists....
"I'm so sorry, I'll tell you everything about our plan to blow up the building! Just PLEASE don't make me watch another episode of that stupid moronic guy who thinks he's really good looking and that he's endearing to women when he says "How YOU doin'?"
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