thoughts flood my head. and the world seems to be crashing down. everywhere i look there is betrayal and loss and heartack. all that i caused. i cant undo it. i cant even say sorry. for all you know im dead. the blood has flown from my wristes and my heart. the pain that i feel in unbearable. the confusion the fear everything has crashed down on me. everything is my fault.  EVERYTHING!!!! but im sorry. i cant do everyhing right. im sorry i caused you pain. im sorry for everything but i cant take it back. im not perfect. im a screw up. would anyone care if i just left this world? would anyone even glance at the hole ive dug my self? would they help? would they reach and at least try to pull me up? thats all i need. someone that cares enough to try and help the person that is to weak to help themselfs.im reaching. people think theres nothing wrong. that im just stumbled and im back on my feet but im not. ive fallen down. people only see what i want to show. they dont see the pain that drves the knife. they dont see the fear that guides my scares they dont see the anger that has welled up for so long. they see only the smile that i put on my face. but if they looked harder just a little bit harder they would know. know everything. but even then they would not care they would run. cowereds that run from the pain of others. why look harder if your ust going to leave? only very few see through me and stay there to lift the beaten broken body of the floor. to be my shoulder and my cruch. my tear and my blood. those are the ones that i live for.