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i have become very unncessarily sensitive. i never really cared much but am begining to-increasingly.
why is it that some people are deemed daft before we even get to really talk to them? is there something about some faces that says "daft, dense, stupid, please speak slower?? use the simplest words and speak real loud, am pretty slow!!"
i have never had a problem telling people when whatever they were saying was something i was in the dark about or i didnt particularly understand but now i do, this sensitive new me is afraid that if i express my lack of knowledge on a particular subject i will once again, for the millionth time, be labled daft.
i dont believe that am daft really, what gets to me is how people who dont even know me assume that! i might get to a point, when my esteem is down and even believe that am a lesser person, that am not as intelligent as my mother, teachers, friends and myself always told me. it particularly hurts when the people we care about alot and want so badly to believe in us say things like.."...........oh, sorry, too technical for you, oh, sorry, let me give you a simpler word, or ...u do know what this means dont you??"
i had a boss that used to do that, i dont like to believe what am told about what some people think of africans but she led me to believe that we must seem pretty dense to alot of people who havent interacted long with us. To say you're having a sandwich for lunch is okay, but to further explain to an office of more than 5 adults what a sandwich is made "its two slices of bread with bits and pieces of this and that..most of which u dont have in this country, i wonder why, anyway, a sandwich is the easiest thing when you...." i remember thinking that day, wow, she must have watched "gods must be crazy" and thought evolution didnt come to us!
i need to understand how, and what makes some of us the daft and others the intelligent, do i have to invent something to join the bright people's camp? Usually, as evidenced by our television shows, we are led to believe that the pretty girls are daft, they are just pretty and sweet, the handsome guys-well, not really, its basically the girls, we get to be the ones with alot of schooling but nothing to show for it.
someone recently saw an article i'd written in the paper and called just to say (ever so tactlessly) " oh, goodness, that was a nice piece in the Observer, really nice, just needed to be sure it was really you that had written it, so did you?" i said, no, i didnt write it, the editor did, he picked a name at random and guess what, it was mine. another person, when i chose a subject for my project paper said, are you sure you want to do that? i said yes, why do you ask? and he said, well, its a difficult topic, are you sure you can take it on?? very nice, you ask why am angry?
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Posted by kakajo on 2008-10-08 06:54:16 | Rating: | Views: 33
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hmmm...allow me to break the 'no comment' rule. we are what we believe. one can only be affected by what people say if they choose to do so (get affected). anyone who has interacted with you would know that you have great potential. nothing suprising about your blog(s):P
xx
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Posted by kiku
on 2008-10-14 03:55:08
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