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ALL’S FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR.

As I took that bus ride, I had mixed feelings, I did not know whether to be happy that I had finally gotten a job or be scared because my new boss made me shake in my boots! I couldn’t help but flash back to our first encounter, my boss and I, she had came to my village in search of a house help. My aunt got wind of it and pulled some strings so that I was highly recommended by her sister in law. Apparently my aunt had something on her that she uses as black mail every now and then. I stood there as she scrutinized me, sweeping her eyes over me as if looking for any traces of demonic possession or dark evil that I may carry to her house and pass on to her precious brats. What baffled her most was my flawless English. She just could not fathom how a rugged looking creature like me could speak better English than her. I am certain that were it not for the lies she had been fed by her sister in law, I would have never stood a chance of getting that job. She of course had to satisfy her curiosity about my English so I told her the truth, that I had dropped out of university in my third year because I got pregnant and my parents refuse to take me back after I got my baby. What I did not tell her though was that they actually threw me out and that’s when my aunt Lucia took me in. She had always been my role model but for all the wrong reasons, at 47 she was never married and no children to her name but she was the villages’ sensation since she kept tabs on everyone, gossip was the devil that run in her veins, I often told her that if she had been born in another time and place she would have been a renown investigative journalist because somehow she always found a way of getting the truth in every gossip and use it to her advantage. I loved her to pieces when I was young and even now she was my everything. She took me in when my parents threw me out because I had so terribly shamed them by getting pregnant in university and they would have nothing of me since I had taken their money and so conveniently flushed it down the toilet. It hurt like hell every time I thought about it, but that’s spilt milk now, my aunt took me in and now she was going to raise my baby so I can go to Nairobi and be paid to look after someone else’s babies.
As the bus approached Nairobi a wave of emotions hit me. I was shocked beyond words at my reactions to the all too familiar joints along Thika road that we frequented three years ago, funny they felt like a life time. I did my best to block the nostalgia because it was making me choke on tears. I looked at myself for the first time in all those years and noticed how I had aged. I remembered the jeans and miniskirts that were my trademark back then. Taking a look at myself now made me want to die! My wardrobe consisted of pleated skirts all the way down and an oversized sweater. My bag contained similar rugs and I missed my aunt Luce with an intensity I did not think was possible. She had helped me survive and made the transition easier, she never let me pity myself for a second and with time, and with time, her don’t-care attitude rubbed of on me.
I got there sooner than I would have liked and the reception I got made me miss my baby like crazy. At least he was well mannered! Those kids made me recoil from shock! “Mama is she wearing a rug? Mama what’s wrong with her hair? Why is it in such a tangled mess? Mama what part of the world wears those kinds of shoes? Are they even shoes mama?”
But what shocked me most was their mothers’ reaction. She just stood there and giggled like that was the funniest, sweetest thing she ever heard.
I knew for sure that my stay there was going to be a terrible test on my patience. My hands were itching to pinch those little brats and show them some manners! They baptized me Miss Mboch on my first night there.
I had to keep reminding myself that I really needed the money at least for my baby’s sake and I couldn’t afford losing it so I would have to take whatever was handed me with a smile.
As the days went by, it became unbearable living in that house. But the worst was yet to come. The man of the house, Mr. Robert, whom I only knew from the portraits on the walls, was due from America in a few weeks. I was made to wash all the walls, drapes, mats, and rugs in preparation of his arrival. I had no qualms about the washing it’s the re-washing that got to me. Apparently, I could not do anything right in my bosses’ eyes so I had to do everything over and over again. As that day drew near the anticipation reached fever pitch. It was totally intoxicating not to mention infectious. I was practically dying to meet this phenomenon. If I had know for a minute how he was going to influence the course of my life, I would have been on the car that they took to the airport and would have given him the first welcome home hug. Trouble is someone had to stay behind and stare at the gourmet meal that had been prepared. I was sure none of it would end up in my mouth but I could not care less I just wanted to see this man who was larger than life.
Their trip to the airport was excruciatingly long but when they finally arrived I realized that he was certainly worth the fuss and hullabaloo.
He was 6’4, huge, light skinned and drop dead gorgeous but strangely silent. His children were all about him and I got banished to the kitchen were I stood by the door and starred at him through the crack on the door. Then the most beautiful thing happened, he looked directly in my direction as if he had known all along that I was standing there. He looked me straight in the eye and held my gaze. Amazingly I couldn’t look away. I was thoroughly hypnotized! The beginnings of a smile were evident on the corners of his mouth, then one side lifted in half a smile and my heart practically stopped. I became light headed and I was sure I was going to faint when the door burst open and hit me squarely on my face and I fell on the hard kitchen floor. My nose was bleeding, as I looked up to see who had hit me, my blood ran cold. My dear boss was breathing fire and I could swear that there was smoke coming from her ears.
‘What in hell are you doing? You have the nerve to flirt with my husband right under my nose! Girl do you have a death wish?’
Needless to say I was stupefied. I could not believe that I was being accused of flirting with the man of the house barely fifteen minutes into his arrival.
‘I have no idea what you are talking about ma’am’
‘Don’t ma’am me you little piece of dirt you! I swear if I even catch you looking at him, you will wish our paths never crossed! Worthless clod of clay!’
So am seated there on the floor wondering why this woman is insulting me. My grave mistake was to return a smile? At that thought I totally forgot that I had just been subjected to complete humiliation not to mention a bleeding nose and a throbbing behind, plus the threat still lingering in my ears, a warm feeling spread in the general direction of my heart and a smile slowly crept to my lips. I drew my legs and hugged them to my chest and closed my eyes and relieved that heavenly moment over and over again, and that’s when it hit me. I was in danger if I made the mistake of falling for this man. Apart from the all too obvious fact that he was unattainable, he was married to the devils incarnate I couldn’t afford to mess with him.
I was quickly corrected in the few days that followed. I had stayed up late obsessing about this sinfully gorgeous man I had been cursed to share the same roof with, when I heard raised voices from a distance. Snoopy little me heaved my frame out into the corridor just to find the kids also eavesdropping on the heated argument. I was torn between listening in and taking the kids back to bed. My sinful nature prevailed and I sat down with them. I regretted my choice almost immediately when I heard the cursing and foul language their mother was using on her husband. Long story short the husband told her that she would be hearing from his lawyers and assured her that he would win custody of his kids and that they were the only reason why he had put up with her insolence and downright beastly behavior for that long but he had had his fill. When we heard his steps approaching the door we all scampered into our rooms. To my utter shock he burst into my room and ordered me to get dressed and not take anything with me. I was stunned beyond words. At my hesitation he yanked me out of my room in nothing else but my night dress and dragged me down the steps and shoved me into his car before driving off like a maniac. It was the speed in which we were moving that gave me back my tongue. If I was going to die I wanted an explanation as to what I, of all the people had to do with anything. Torrents of questions fell out of my mouth and on to deaf ears and it was only when we narrowly missed death by a whisker did he finally pull over by the side of the road and tried to catch his breath.
After about 10 minutes that felt like eternity did he explain his stupid plan? I was going to be the weapon he would use to spite his wife and get revenge on her for all her extra marital affairs and big dirty mouth to boot.
You would think I would be enraged by the thought, but I was feeling strangely elated. I was going to actually live with this demigod! I couldn’t believe my luck. It did not even bother me that he chose me just because I was lowly in class, just so his wife would die of shame that her husband had left her for a mere maid! It has been three months now and I am living in such luxury together with my baby and a man almost twice my age and I could not care less. I have the best clothes in a ten meter radius of this posh estate we live in. The court proceedings are dragging on and quite frankly I wish he loses custody of those brats because it would only mean that I leave I can’t stand them. Either way I am enjoying my life day by day not thinking of what will become of me when all is said and done. All that matters to me now is that my Robert comes home to me and he takes my breath away when he walks into the house every night. My son took to him almost instantly and it makes my heart swell when I see them sprawled on the floor playing. Say what you may, all I know is that all’s fair in love and war.