As I was pondering my purpose in life I found myself stymied by the limits of my language.
I thought back to times when I spoke elequently and wisely about any topic of discussion, and my genuine concern for the matters at hand.
I wonder if I have yet made a difference along the lines from which I had started, but I found that I have strayed so far from the paths and goals I had envisioned.
All the well, for I do know that I have made a difference in many a people's lives, and I pray that they have been mostly of the positive energies I feel inside.
I thought to myself how unlucky for me that I did not live in the times of our founding fathers. I know they were wrought with their own set of tragedies, and the problems lying in wait for them, but oh how I would have loved to been born in a point in time where I might have been the first to write such lovely poetry, or be part of the brainstorming done when the constitution was written.
I saw Jamie Lee Curtis on the telvision show, "The View"  the other day and she put it so well about how the language of long ago was so elequent, and gentile.
To have been the first to have written such words as to move men to put their lives on the line for the good of all.
I tried to apply that standard to the young men and women now serving in our military forces in the middle east.
For the life of me I could not put that emotion into what is going on over there.
I do so love and appreciate those who have taken the oath and followed through to the bitter end, Those who have died over there, and those who have suffered the horrible reality of war.
To those who have left loved ones at home while they fight on foriegn soil for the good of people they don't even know and once they have gone from their duty they will only have the memories of what was and how that time does not always heal all wounds.
I wondered if there were some way I could contribute to ease their pains and loneliness. Yes my wife and I send care packages and we write letters to them, but there is no way for us to hug them and hold them as they shiver with the cold stark reality of war. It is a shock that only those who have been
there can truely understand. Just like trying to envision what it is like to loose a child, it is not at all what you would think it to be and you can never truely understand the effects war has on one's physique.
So once again I pondered my position on this earth.
I didn't write the the words that inspired the first love.
I didn't write the words that healed the wounded.
I didn't write the words that inspired a nation to rise.
So what may it be now that I may write to inspire?
Along with millions of others I have given myself reasons for being, but as everyone else I am only guessing within my personal belief's.
Is it that I should always remain but a cog on the wheel of huimanity?
Have I risen to a higher plane where I might be a spoke for the wheel to turn upon?
I love to read the stories from the bible, and to answer my questions with chapter and verse, but then I realize that I have a much different view of God and our interrelationship to one and all.
It is not my purpose to preach my personal belief's, but to work towards an answer that will be satisfying to myself.
I do so love to think of the good things that have been written throughout the ages and the general reasons behind the bible, but what has been does not answer my question of purpose.
At times I come to the conclusion that even if I am only a particle in the vastness of the universe, then just being so has to have reason to me, but then when I picture myself in the universe I get lost in the thought of "never ending", and that's when I loose sight of my purpose..
There are many times when I think that I am nothing, but that can't be because I see, I feel, and as it has been said before me, " I think therefore I am!"
Therein lies the conundrum, " I think therefore I am, but what  am I thinking about myself?"
It somehow doesn't really bother me that much, but then again it has come to mind an awful lot of times within my thoughts. haha
Lets leave this to each of you who would ponder the same as I.