Simplcide: Suicide- the easy answer.

In life I find that we all encounter many questions, frustrations, hurdles, insurmountable tasks... everyone does.  But where does my experience fit in relation to yours? One often wonders.  That question's validity holds no importance to me.

Pain, confusion, disappointment, dispair... they are all the same- torturous to the human's mind and soul.  These do not come in levels nor are they measurable from person to person.  

Person after person, doctor after doctor, clinic after clinic have asked me for years to "rate my pain on a scale from 1 to 10."  What does that mean?  To me it's a disillusioned way for those striving for attention to easily obtain it.  If you're still alive, how can you be having a "10"?  What determines the difference from a 5 to a "6"?  Say you have a "7" but you tell someone it's a "9"... you'll get ears to prick up.  It seems that is all some people want.  Each number holds a different meaning to every person.  My "1" may be your "1,000"... so is perception of pain in the mind of the individual all that these professionals are striving to look for? 

Enough harping on the medical profession- for now at least... I'm an 18 year old girl, if age is of any consequence, for like these numerical values I find it to be another frivolous number, for in my years or if you so wish to denote to months or days, I have lived and experienced more than the average adult ever will; that is not a boast nor a claim, but bone hard medical fact.  I have an illness, but my illness is not me... though it does have a name and holds its own definition in the world of "big words" used by MDs: comorbid disorder.  MORBID!  Unlike the thoughts that are racing through your mind, it has nothing to do with heinous images nor blood and gore... it is a statement which means I have 2+ medical conditions that coincide: POTS, Chiari, and chronic daily migraines (- aura).