One day, while attending Church, I was surrounded by girls. Being the only boy there, they were all loud and hyper. It was disgusting. I clearly announced that I have decided not to marry. An expression of pure shock ran through their faces for a second or two before they returned to their silent state that I so longed for.

So, why is it that I have decided not to marry? I, as a man, have been told a countless number of times that married men are far more happier and healthier than those who are single. Let me get this straight to those who agree with this statement. Unhealthy and unhappy people may find it hard to marry in the first place. Thus, it is not that the marriage necessarily caused the unhealthiness or unhappiness, but that those men were not well to start with. Men with low self-esteem are pretty unattractive, as are those who are extremely unhealthy or disadvantaged. I have to say that correlation does not signify cause and effect, as I have learned in my statistics class.

So, if there isn't much of a difference, why did I decide not to marry? The number one reason is because I am an un-cooperative person. Since marriage involves cooperation and consideration of eachother's needs, marriage is not for me.

The second on that list involves women. Women can get miserable with marriage. To be a wife and a mother is like a death sentence except that you would be killed in five years and you can't do anything about it, agonizing the process of knowing that a painful death is waiting, no matter how much you love the fact that you are still alive. As wives, to support their husband is the job they were entitled to, even if they decide to be independent. However, deep down inside, they have depression and pain already peeking their heads from the corners, ready to strike the human they lurk in around any second. So many times have I wondered if what wives told their husbands were true. Listening to my own mother's experience, I learned that they may say, "I am so happy being with you", when in fact, they are thinking, "I was and am so miserable since the day after our honeymoon." Being a husband, what greater pain is there than to know that you are causing someone extreme pain, and because of your marital role, you can't do anything about it? Seriously, if a man took the place of a wife, he would understand. But that isn't allowed and thus there isn't anything he can do for the woman he loves, other than to keep her barely living on the brim of hidden insanity.

Third, I am a secretive man. I can't find motivation to do mostly everything unless I am performing the task in such a way that no one knows what I am doing. Boy, that'd be a horrible thing for a woman to be married to a man like that. She'd have to live her whole life in insecurity and doubt if she were to be coping with me. If not, I'd let her live her own life, but that is not how marriage goes, since open communication is a necessary component to a successful marriage.

Fourth, as a man, I would lose my ability to be myself. Being a good husband and father may, might as well, destroy my efforts to improve myself. Sure, I may improve my relationships, but that won't neccessarily improve my identity as a human being. Many people say that the pressures of a family causes a man to really work hard. I don't really care. Sorry to say this, but self improvement comes in many forms and marriage will not give me the type of improvement I want.

Fifth, sex has nothing to do with it. "Oh, he wants to not marry because he can get to play around." The responce to that assumption would be a gigantic no. Playing around would cause your life to be just as (if not more) complicated as if you were married. So, it wouldn't fit into my whole point anyway.

Sixth, this has nothing to do with you. "Ha! he says so, but I'm gonna get married no matter what!" You know what? I don't freaking care. Marry if you want to. I'm just saying that it is not for me.

So, those are my reasons in a nutshell. Please do not be offended by this personal essay of mine, since I am only doing this to express myself and not necessarily to make the world a better place. Thank you and good bye. Have a sweet day or night, whichever times you are reading this. If my essay seems ridiculous, please just assume that it is because these are my true feelings and that feelings don't need to be meaningful, they just exist as they are.

Responses to reviews:
Quiet_Dreamer: I think what I meant by "fulfilling the role of a wife", I didn't mean by doing the laundry and stuff like that. I was referring to the "status" of being a wife and how people look down upon it and make it really difficult.

Sprinkles: How long have you been married? I was thinking that you were maybe a newly wed by the way you were talking. It's typical. Wait another two years or so and maybe you'll realize. It's the fact that I don't want to disappoint women like you that makes me want to stay single. Besides, never experienced it? You're damn right! I don't like bliss. I want to be aware of what is going on around me and I don't feel in control when everything is rosy. It's painful and scary.