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So there is this guy...
I am slowly starting to like him,
but I can't.
I dont want to like anyone!
But he is so nice,
and kind,
and funny!
But isn't that what every girl says when they like a guy.
He has a girlfriend.
He says he is falling out of love with her.
She has cheated on him and lied.
He wants to be with her but he doesn't...
Where have I heard that before!
He isn't a christian.
I don't know him well enough to know for sure
but when I told him I was and that God is my life he was taken back a little.
I can tell he likes me.
I made it very clear from the very beggining that I wasn't going to be that girl
That girl that flirts with another girl's boyfriend
That girl that hangs out with him and doesn't call it a date but it realy is.
I won't be that girl!
I hate that girl!
But I want to be his girl.
I want to tell him that I am beggining to like him
I want him to know that I am scared of getting hurt.
I dont want to like him but I do.
I dont want to want him but I do.
I feel like I am beating myself up al the time.
There is a battle going on inside between the part that likes him and the rational part that knows I can't like him
Which is right?
I know what is right.
I wont be that girl.
I am telling myself no!
No matter what he says or what I want, I wont be that girl!
This is so hard!
I want someone to tell me I am beautiful!
I want someone to want me!
Why can't I have that someone now.
I know to be patient
and if you could read my thoughts you would see that I am trying so hard!
I am so proud of myself!
I have shown that I have the self control so far but now I am scared that it's not enough.
I dont want to be controlled by fear.
I know God has the perfect plan for me.
He knows the guy that he has created perfectly for me.
But what if I miss him.
What if I am trying so hard to wait for him that he ends up passing me by.
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Posted by jssfrk08 on 2007-10-09 17:21:27 | Rating: | Views: 93
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