To my dear Noodle,

I told myself that I would leave you alone but my heart just will not allow me to do that. I cant seem to grasp the concept of my life without you in it in any capacity. I should have known that this was going to happen when you realized that I wasnt coming home.  even though the life I have up here isnt made up of much, its still my life and I refuse to leave and finally admit that I will be a loser for the rest of my life. I am too smart to forgo going to college simply because of anxiety. i will become someone that I can be proud of with or without you. I think its pathetic how you handled things, though. i cant believe that anyone that has any type of relationship for the length of time we had can simply cut the other out of their life, heart and mind completely with no problem. Listen, i have not begun to tell you whats in my heart but its 2am and I have to be at work all day, so I will continue this later... Speaking of work, i hope the chick youre dating works with you and you think of me everywhere you go, bc I had you first and I know that i can do it better.