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The words I feel and the words that I write down are almost indescribable. Their powerful and always have a message that goes deeper than just the brain. My words come from my heart and therefore they have to be interpreted from the heart. No one in my life understands me, I am a person of vast knowledge that was given by God to spread around to those who are misunderstood, misinterpreted, and most of all those who feel unwanted. In my life I feel all three of these things and it hurts knowing the only person who can help me is myself. I cant ask help from the closets people in my life because they wouldn't understand, its a test from God to see if I have the inner-strength to follow the path that God has set before me and the path I have sought to walk along for so long. Ive been thinking alomg time and Im not sure if I can build relationships with people because I am scared to death of losing someone. Everyone in my life I try to hold on to no matter what but sometimes I lose them and It has devestaing effects on my emotions. I start to blame myself and ask myself whats wrong with me when in reality I should be asking what went wrong. When I lose someone I dont no what to do with myself sometimes I wander if life is worth living. That might sound crazy but when you care so much for people even after some of the hardships you were sufficed to its a whole different perspective. Im not sure what to do anymore I cant understand how someone who cares so much for people can be rejected and unwanted. Im not sure I can continue life this way but I dont know what to do. I have so much more to say but its lost somwhere in my heart and the more I search the harder it is to uncover what it is I most desirebly want to say. I just pray that God helps me dig out the words so I can explain my full story.
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Posted by jshemrsn on 2008-08-05 00:03:34 | Rating: | Views: 24
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