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 Exceeding Expectations

The only thing we fear is fear itself. As I look back at my life I realize I have always been afraid of one thing, to fail. I have perseveared through insurmountable odds and yet by love, grace, and pure luck I have overcame those odds and succeded. As a child I went through years of therapy, I always felt I was inferior to those around me, I was always in trouble even though I told myself I was going to behave, I often times left my parents in a situation where they felt helpless. But through it all I have survived, in retrospect I have never truly failed in my life. But yet there is that emptyness inside me that is just waiting for me fall off my mountain, waiting for my feet to slip from underneath me. Its something that has always puzzled me. I overcame adversity of a past that I thought would always haunt me. I have gone through highschool as a 4 year honor student, and I got accepted into the college of my choice. The next stepping stone is college, and the past few days it has been vivid in my mind, im afraid I dont have what it takes to succeed, I have said this about everything I have ever tried though. I think that its a mechanism that grew apart of me after my childhood. If I allow myself to think Im going to fail then if I do it doesnt hurt as much because i was expecting it. Im waiting for my slip up, the one mistake that is going to turn my life upside down. But it has yet to come and I dont know what to expect. I am so afraid to fail that i dont allow myself to pause and realize my true accomplishments. Neutrality grasp ahold of me and has yet to let go, I hide my accomplishments in the shadows and wait til I slip up, only then allowing that to sit horrificly in the spotlight. I believe this is just me being human, or maybe not i dont know. But what I do know is that my train has stayed on the tracks and is headed straight for the next stop in my life. All I can do is hope that my train doesn't derail, hope that I stay steadily on course. I have a plan for my life, a dream that will be my reality, and as long as I continue to succeed even when my heart doesnt believe I can then I will be able to be the person I have the true potential to be.

    Posted by jshemrsn on 2008-08-18 02:42:34 | Rating: | Views: 28
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if you have time plz take a look at my poems and writing. i am new to this site and new to writting poetry and really need some feedback and some advice. so tell me what you think if you get a chance to stop by my page. thank you so much.
Posted by  Famous651  on 2008-08-18 02:42:58 
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jshemrsn
Louisville, Kentucky, United States

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 Conformed Man
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