Last year this month i lost a large part of me. 
Who I believed I was; the person I had created in my world of lies. 
I worked for months to regain that part of me
And even that work turned out to be fruitless.

So i turned inward again
With no one noticing the world was closing in on me again.
Which made me more than happy to retreat into.
Because inside that black shell is my peace
Outside is the sins of my past and future.

But someone did notice
i'm not sure how, or why, but they did
And now I'm a mess again
With tears falling when I least expect it.

Could the past that hurt me so
Really be the key to unlock the future that i need to have.
I guess its time to start again
Even if it means cracking that shell into the million pieces so I can't retreat when the world becomes more than I can handle.

For if I lock that door with too many locks
Who will ever try to open it again?
And blackness will cover us all instead of letting the sunshine in.

Time to get back to work on fixing the past even if its not the future i thought it could be.