The weather today is insane!  This morning it was somewhere around 40 degrees and last time I looked it was somewhere around 8 degrees but with a -18 degree wind chill.  What's up with that?  I'm sitting by our front window and even with plastic on the window I can feel the cool (or freezing if you like) air coming through.  Because of the cold, school let out early this afternoon and my registration for tonight got postponed until Thursday night.  What is going on with my Tuesday's?  Am i not suppose to schedule anything on a Tuesday?  Good thing Joy's surgery is scheduled for a Friday!

i did something last night that i wasn't sure i would ever do...but i told my bible study group about my abortion.  My hands were shaking, and the already cold room seemed to have suddenly turned almost ice cold, but i was amazed at the reception they gave me.  They actually even gave me a hug and told me that on the road to recovery...i'm doing the right thing...i can't go back and change the past...God has already forgiven me, that i need to learn to forgive myself...and that my secret is safe with them.  In 12 years I told maybe one person until I told Melissa last winter and now it seems i'm spilling my guts all the time.  is this really just a part of me now? am i really on some sort of road to recovery...whatever that means?

i was up again in the middle of the night.  my body just ached all over.  i could not get comfortable.  it felt like little pins poking me everywhere and there was nothing i could do to stop it.  at one point i thought was a dream, and then i had a brief moment of panic because that is one of the last things i remember before the menigitis.  i don't know what it was, but it was enough to keep me up for awhile.

i emailed jackson's teacher today and asked about his behavior.  (sometimes its better to not ask the questions you don't really want the answers to)  apparently his behavior has changed at school as well, and he is chuming with one of the "naughty" boys.  i knew there was something going on as he talks about this boy all the time, but it breaks me heart to know that he is mis-behaving at school too.  I guess its time for a meeting of the minds tonight.  doesn't that sound like fun?

on a lighter note...the funniest thing happened over the weekend with Treble!  the neighbors behind us got a little 5 lbs dog that is just the cutest little pile of fur i've ever seen...my 40 lb dog is scared to death of it.  There is a fence between the two of them and treble would go near for a second or two and then run back by my side.  she did that about a 1000 times, but would not stay long enough to let the other dog sniff her through the fence.  what a great guard dog she's turned out to be!  My mom yelled at me for messing with her grand-puppy. 

well, my plan tonight is to put my warm pj's on, wrap up in a blanket and watch the wind whip the tree limbs around in a beautiful display of power.  Mother nature sure is a powerful and amazing creature and who are we if we don't enjoy it from time to time?