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Feeling good

"What did I do for me" I was asked today by someone I see who is supposed to make my life a little easier.

Hmmm...

A year ago I don't think I could have answered that question because I felt I didn't need anything for me. However, I have been taught by the mess of the year that I deserve to enjoy life. I don't deserve the punishments I've put upon myself for years and years.

Tonight, I was able to answer that question quickly and without thought.
...(other than being a mommy)

-I enjoy the scrapbooks I create as a reminder to my children of their history. It's always a challenge to find the perfect paper, stickers, and design for each picture.
-I enjoy creating the lovely flower bouquets that started last year when I took it upon myself to create the table decorations for my brother's rehearsal dinner...12 hours before it started. Since then I have made several different things that I'm very proud of...and have even sold a few.
-My gardening skills have greatly approved this summer and I'm so proud of the work I have done this time. Jesse's garden was expanded just last week and more seeds are popping through. My vegetable gardens are beautiful and everything I have planted have grown. And with the beautiful arbor and red glass lantern I received for my birthday I have re-arranged another garden and went today and bought a rather large water fountain and put it together and hooked it up...all by myself. I have already decided how I'm going to change some of the current plants I have around to make it an even more tranquil place. (of course I spent 4 hours working in my gardens today picking weeds, trimming, rearranging plants, etc. so it might be a day or two before i get around to it)
-I'm back to reading and doing a little writing again. I was encouraged to try that awhile ago and blew it off, but am finding I need that time and that creative side of me. I doubt that I will ever show my writings, but it's the idea I can if i WANT to.

I'm not saying that things are great...far from it. But I'm working hard...very hard and it starts with using that time daily for things I love. Being with those I love. And trusting those around me to tell me what they need so i continue to believe it's not all my fault and I'm worth it.