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jringwald's Blogs in April 2008

My evening of smiles
The evening of smiles began close to 4 When the balls of energy (some call them my children) Got picked up from daycare And both had good days. No time outs No fights Just simple days at daycare and school. Daddy came home and off we went to the bank. The kids......Read More

Posted on: 2008-04-18 22:57:29 | Rating:

| Views: 42 | Comments: 0 | Tags: content

Good enough?
Earlier this week I was awakened by his thought About is he good enough? He was able to fall asleep again, but I was left with a feeling of dread. I laid awake dealing with the pain in his voice before the alarm said it was time to get up. I asked a few questions throughout the......Read More

Posted on: 2008-04-19 22:36:21 | Rating:

| Views: 85 | Comments: 1 | Tags: relationship

Planning for the 4 year olds tea party.
My day today was nothing but ordinary at least in my world. Today was a stay at home day, which is so out of the routine for me I wasn't sure what to do with myself. It started with staying up late watching tv. Then taking the kids to swimming lessons. I was so proud of......Read More

Posted on: 2008-04-19 23:27:35 | Rating:

| Views: 50 | Comments: 0 | Tags: family

The party of the year! (at least at our house)
The party of the year Was held in my backyard For 14 princessess and 2 handsome prince. 3 weeks of planning For 2 hours of partying The invites were teapots The girls all dressed in their best The teapot was washed The cups all a sparkle. We started by decorating the......Read More

Posted on: 2008-04-20 23:04:27 | Rating:

| Views: 46 | Comments: 0 | Tags: family

I wonder why i'm trying.
Have you ever been in the world And thought that no one noticed? That no one really cared? That is where my thoughts have been going for a couple of days now. Why would anyone want to notice me? I'm hurting from the inside Quietly falling back into me. I've gained some weight......Read More

Posted on: 2008-04-21 21:42:16 | Rating:

| Views: 81 | Comments: 2 | Tags: depression sadness

Why?
I wonder why I do it? Ask the questions that cause the hurt. The answers I know are coming Are those I probably don't want to know But having the answers hurts less I suppose, then the guessing on forever. ...Read More

Posted on: 2008-04-22 17:18:04 | Rating:

| Views: 47 | Comments: 0 | Tags: saddness

I messed up
How does one ask for forgiveness when the one you want to forgive you won't? I messed up I said it I admitted it I tried to say it again and again But it doesn't seem to be enough. When is trying not worth it anymore? When should I give up hope? ...Read More

Posted on: 2008-04-23 13:18:21 | Rating:

| Views: 1 | Comments: 0 | Tags: forgiveness

Waking up to a brand new world
I'm going to a counselor I'm on anti-depressent drugs I'm feeling things I've never allowed myself to feel before. But those emotions have extreme highs and very extreme lows A year ago I didn't know these emotions actually exsisted So, what I'm working on is how to get back to a......Read More

Posted on: 2008-04-23 21:54:12 | Rating:

| Views: 76 | Comments: 2 | Tags: changing depression

Teaching preschool
The longer I teach preschool, the more I realize how blessed I really am to have these beautiful flowers in my garden. We start in August with only the soil and sun to begin with But as the year goes on I begin to see the tiny sprouts shooting up. By December the blooms have appeared......Read More

Posted on: 2008-04-24 18:45:09 | Rating:

| Views: 50 | Comments: 0 | Tags: jobs children

The road less taken
The road I'm on is such a long and curvy one. Without an end in sight. Why I got on this path, one will never know. It has the biggest hills I have ever seen And the most pot holes that I have to swerve to avoid There seems to be the fast lane and the slow lane, And I'm......Read More