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| MURDER |
Murder? This is what my head is screaming at this moment in time as I finally decide to get the body I desire and with that the life I feel comes part and parcel. My biggest ambition is to be an actor...or a singer...or...well you get the gist! And, as we are all painfully aware from the hundreds of images we see every day that in order to be successful one must be body beautiful. On a daily basis we are seemingly swamped with images of what perfection truly is, we face constant reminders on the tube, in the car, walking down the streets that what we have simply isn't good enough. We all imagine that to have a face that airbrushed, a body that perfect or retouched, and a closet so full of designer duds that somehow we'd be happier. I know I feel that way, and so now, at the grand old age of 27...shriek!!...I am taking it upon myself to do everything that I can to obtain the looks and the lifestyle that will get me noticed in the vaccuous and perilous industries that appeal to me so.
The truth of the matter is that I haven't been noticed yet, that Steven Spielberg or a model scout haven't passed me on Oxford Street and declared that I would be their next big thing, so in an attempt not to let my life pass me by with wishful thinking and a lack of self esteem, I have enrolled at University where my next big love, writing, will be my main focus...that's correct, I am indeed a journalist student now and what better way to use my new found powers of study than to combine my loves and document the journey.
I have a checklist in my head of what it is that means I have truly made it, I have an image of who I am and who I look like in my head that simply doesn't quite match the exterior at this precise moment in time. I have been dieting, successfully and unsuccessfully for most of my teenage years and twenties thus far, dangerously so in many cases, so here I am, putting my heart and soul out there in an attempt to discover just what it takes to feel like myself, the arguments, the failures and hopefully the success stories, and I hope that you will come with me as I find out just who I am, and how I got there.
Love and Light
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