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Friends come slow, but go fast...

Well here it is, in the first two weeks of June. I am tired, burned out from long hours of school, life and responsibility, and not enough rest. Summer session of school is almost half over, then a week break before starting the second half of summer sessions.

A while back, I came back to my journal after keeping silent for several months. It would appear I have done it again. Perhaps when I make a committment to attend to my journal on a regular basis, I should make good on it, and do it.

I met some new people shortly after my last entry. Truth be told, I was introduced to them through informal events at a mutual friends apartment. One of the individuals I knew as an aquaitance, and was not sure as to whether or not a friendship would be possible, as his views and ways of life are of complete opposite of mine. Then again, looking through my history, I have grown up around situations where I occupied the opposite end of the scale. I am a catholic democrat, who has all southern baptist republican friends. I was born with a neuro disease known as tourette's, a hereditary condition, yet I am the only member in the history of my family who has it. Not long after I was reintroduced to this individual, who is known by the name Jon, we began to converse every other day through the social connector facebook.

We started hanging out with our mutual friend together, who invited me to tag along with them both on a camping trip I was led to believe was just the three of us and possibly one or two more. At first, I was unsure of the situation, camping in the country hills with two to five people, only one of which I knew pretty well.

I rode with our mutual friend, daniel, to meet the rest of the crew at the campsite. When we arrived, I noticed several cars parked, and a group of others parking, and walking our way. It was then, when indeed he knew I had no chance of escape, told me the truth. He said he had to leave in a few hours to head back home due to his work schedule, and could not stay. The large crowd which was heading our way, were members of his college group at his church. He failed to mention this when he was bragging about the peace and comfort of camping with friends, and developing friends.

Needless to say, I was somewhat shocked I was misled, then somewhat angry, then after a while, I grew to full blown pissed. Jon, and someone else, daniel said, was coming, that jon had to pick up this kid I met once before by the name of Jake. When the camp leader, as it turns out they had, showed up and get tents put up, and food brought out, Daniel told me of his departure. I wanted him to stay. I told him i was not going to stay with a large crowd of people I did not know, and was not comfy with. He tells me of jon and Jake will be there shortly, of whom i had no interest in staying the night with, without daniel.

He convinced me he would stay a bit longer, and as I headed off for a walk, I turn around and notice he is driving away. it is dark at this time, and the camp fire is running low. The fellow campers were visiting, and roasting marshmellows, while I stand on the open road of the campsites and just froze. Soon, Jon rolls up in his truck, along with Jake. I had no idea how to address them, or what to say.

I explained the situation, and all I got was laughter, and assurance it would all be ok, that I would be taken back with them the next day. Apparantly danield did what he did in order to get me to hang out with these two of whom he thought I would make great friendships with. I didn't know it at the time, but he was right.

This boy Jake, it turns out, is in the army, in the infantry. He and I took a long walk down the trails to the lake, smoking our cigarrettes, and chatting about where we come from. He informs me of his upcoming deployment to afghanistan in either late June or early July. I found him interesting, he was full of intelligence, yet displayed himself as a joker who could be serious if need be, but would prefer relaxed moments. He was open minded, generous at first, but later came to be a pain in the ass kind of friend, but won me over regardless.

I never knew I could grow to enjoy and love a couple new friends so quickly, and so much. There is so much I could and should say about these three people. I want to write so many things I have witnessed, and learned from these friends.

I never really had friendships like this, friendships where they did not expect me to fill a gap, or offer some 'service' out of friendship. To be blunt, friendships that would not just use me. I never had that. These three, for a short time in my life, brought me hope, love, and understanding. I know I will remember them for the rest of my days.

Danield, the first, has left for california with another of his friends. There is a possibility he explained he would not be coming back.

Jon, who I have grown to love as a brother, had become closer to me than any other. He accepted me, and never judged me like I thought he would. He has now left for idaho. I don't know when he will be back.

The only one left now is Jake. He resides at the base in Ft. Hood, about three hours away. I pick him up every weekend so that he and I can hang out, and hang loose before his deployment, which is coming up very soon. He can't see his family, who lives in idaho, before deployment. He took too many leave days during the winter holidays before finding out he will be deployed. So he is three leave days in debt, and feels bad for not seeing his family before being deployed for fifteen months. So I pick him up usually every weekend, so that he can enjoy himself, and live a little before facing the possibility of no return. Though, I do not like the thought of such a thing. I forbid him to ever speak of it.

When he goes, I will be the last of our group to stay behind. I am sure I will find myself busy and occupied in the papers I must write, and assignments due, and even find myself more work to be done, just so I don't think of the lonliness I face without my friends.

I wish we lived in a better world than what we have created for ourselves. I find the duties and responsibilites which call upon some of us, divides the rest of us. If this world could experience more peace, then perhaps a call of duty would not so much seperate great friendships, but rather offer an opening for others.

I miss my friends. I sit at night on my front porch, and look out in the sky. I can almost feel a hand in the smooth summer wind, brush across my face, and a gentle voice assuring me of better days.