hey
my first blog, this is weird,I keep a diary but I realy did need to blow of some steam!!

Recently Ive been feeling that the people that Im surrounding myself with aren't so good for, espeically myself esteem.Its not that Im saying Im perfect its just sometimes I wish my friends would encourage me but instead they don't. Its starting to bug me to the point where Ive become quieter and withdrawing myself from things. When I went home for easter, my mum even commented on this, subconciously Ive started wearing black so people dont notice me,before I used to adore colour.
For example, I went to the pool the other day, Im trying to get fit for summer, I wasnt at the pool that long because I had to meet my friends, but when I got back my lovely flatmate Alice said 'You werent very long where you?' As usual. This girl is the most insecurist* person Ive met, I seriously think that if I was skinner or prettier we would not be friends. I mean she hates me being friends with other people and keeps her boyfriend away from other girls, but she does it sly so no one would notice.Most of the time I ignore it, but how long can you do that??
Then there's Maxine. My friend of my course who I will admit provides me relief from my flat. However, whenever we talk she is one of those people who have always got a better story or keep talking about the same event that she got really drunk at 3 weeks ago!Its like give it a REST!Today I text her sayin I might get a job where she does and she was like why??Not that'll be cool or good luck!I think I do expect too much from people!
People reading this are probrably thinking Im moaning and need to get over it ,they're are right..but I did need to let this out!
Otherwise all other aspects are fine.Work is getting there slowly, but at the moment Im spending more time in the library then home. It does my head in sometimes. I love ringing home and my parents saying well done!or like thats good!I am missing words of encouragement, because it seems they are so rarelyt said today.

Anyway rant over

Jo
x