This has sure been one looong weekend. All weekend I  have felt so alone. Well really I have been alone most of he weekend. My husband can't even understand what I'm going through at all and goes on his marry little way as if nothing is going on and all is fine. I don't even think he noticed how sad I was. I still miss my little buddy something awful and the tears keep on flowing off and on. I know it's hard for some people to understand how someone can miss a dog so much. But I do.-Their so sweet because they give you love no matter what. They don't care what kind of job you have, where you live, how many friends you have or what you look like- they just give you their unconditional love no matter what and that is such a nice feeling to have. Last night I heard a dog barking outside in our yard and it sounded just like my little buddy, but of course it was not as I checked. I guess I still have a little tad bit of hope still in my heart--How dumb of me.I never thought I'd miss him so much-but Lord knows I do. I still have my other baby (Toy Poodle) though and of course I love him to death. He is about 9 years old so he is not as playful as my little buddy was. My little buddy was so affectionate and I guess I needed that in my life- but did not even realize this until he was gone. He was helping me to get out of my depression that I have been in for awhile now. But like I said i did not even know this  or realize this until he was gone. I was thinking of maybe getting another dog. Maybe if I got a puppy it would work out better for my little guy (Toy Poodle). I'm not sure though- maybe its not a good idea. I don't know. I really don't have the money to even do so--So it probably wont even happen.

I've been missing my kids a lot this weekend too. Two left out of the home this year and I still have one at home, -well that's if you want to call it that--She never seems to be home much. But that's a teen for you. It's hard for me to adjust to them leaving the home. It's so quiet now and lonely without them here anymore. Oh how I miss the young days when after playing outside all day and coming in for their baths and dinner-Then all three down on the floor in front of the TV watching Nickelodeon before bed time.They were so happy -so content and life was so good then. I have never been the parent who could not wait for their kids to leave home. I've always been the opposite and never wanted them to leave home--I very much enjoyed being a Mom. The best job their is and I miss it. But, my oldest will be coming home for a visit Thanksgiving along with her soon to be hubby. I'm not sure I'm ready for the marriage part just yet either. But, I do want them to be happy. My middle child will be home for Christmas and I'm looking forward to that...I've been so worried about her. After she left home-out of state and shortly afterward she had a seizure that scared everyone. She is fine now and has not had another and they are not really sure on the cause of it. But it was so hard to have to be far away from her while all this went on and I could not get to her. So I can't wait to give her a hug and see her.But I'm thinking of how lonely it will be when they leave back out too- That stinks! I'm so not good with change anymore--its so not for me. But, I guess I have to find a way to deal with all this change going on as there is not much else I can do. It really saddens me though and I wonder how other Mothers out their have delt with this. Most seem to deal fine and move on--I just need to know how to do this. It is so hard.

Well I guess enough is enough here and I'm off to battle another sleepless night again.