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I guess one of the key components of anyone's identity is his or her name; it is, after all, the first thing anyone uses to distinguish us from others. I've always hated my first name; I like to think of myself as an original, someone who stands out from the crowd, and naturally, I've been cursed with the most popular girl's name for the year that I was born. Of course, my parents weren't trying to be dull - they thought Jennifer Lynn was incredibly original, and were naturally shocked when there were 3 others in my first grade class. This proliferation of Jennifers everywhere I go has continued throughout my life and has been a constant source of annoyance to me. As a matter of fact, I share an office with 2 other Jennifers now, also very close to myself in age, and I'm sure there are plenty more that I haven't met in a department of 165 instructors. And there's all the little annoyances associated with having a popular name: for instance, you're in a public place, you hear someone call your name, you turn to talk to them, and of course, they're never talking to you and you feel ridiculous (My husband, who actually has an original name, has no idea why this is irritating, as it has never happened to him). Naturally, I have vowed that when I have children, they will have interesting, original names if I can help it (as I said, that's what my parents thought they were doing, so I suppose some of it is out of my control).
My last name is a very different story from my first name. I've only had it for 3, almost 4 months now, so it still doesn't feel like my name really; it sounds so strange to me to hear people call me "Ms. Molinari". Molinari is my husband's name, and because I'm a feminist and lots of women these days don't take their husbands' names, many of my friends and family were surprised when I chose to give up my own name in favor of his when we married. For me, though, every time I hear his name connected with mine, it makes me feel a little bit more like a family. I also like knowing that when we have children, all of us will have the same name, no hyphens or anything to mess around with, which again gives me a feeling of "family". I certainly don't feel that every woman needs to take her husband's name, like I did (personally, I'd like to see some guys taking the woman's name for a change), but I do think one name in a family makes things simpler and creates a nice feeling of closeness. It does feel very strange to give up the name you've had for your entire life, but it gives me the sense of having entered into a new chapter of my life now that I'm married, one that I might not have had so strongly if I hadn't changed my name.
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Posted by jmolinari on 2008-01-17 22:16:18 | Rating: | Views: 80
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Gosh, for a moment there, I was about to shout to your husband "PROTECT YOUR DOODLE!":P A feminist ay? But, you gladly took his name. That IS odd. I may be the rare guy you speak of who would consider giving up his name for the woman's considering my family is of an unknown branch by the same name. Everyone else associated with the name--not related--is famous/rich for something. That, and my own family has upset and disappointed me greatly. So, I am considering changing my name. I personally think Jen/Jennifer is one of the greatest names for women(perhaps cuz of a certain comic book favorite lawyer of mine) and usually is tied to a woman who is well built, strong and sassy/dramatic. I tend to put women on a plateau but am not above treating them equal to men(both good and bad treatments where deserved). But, sexist/chauvenistic people(especially my feminist mother in denial--the salt-and-pepper amazon)make me ill.
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Posted by brainstormer
on 2008-01-17 22:30:28
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