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I remember the days of dual parenting.....and for me it is a lot like single parenting. Some people ask me how I am doing it all and I think, What?
I had a husband that was gone almost all the time. Family vacations usually turned into me and the kid.......holidays...me and the kid.....weekends.....you guessed it! So I don't quiet get this whole "how do you do it" question.
I realize that most people had a husband that was home more and may have helped out but for me being a single parent is a lot like parenting when I was married it's just that now I have less laundry, one less person asking where something is and less stress and arguing.
I have a typical single parent life...or at least i think it's typical. I work....all day. I go pick up the kid from after school, we go home, have dinner, do some homework, then it's T.V., bath, brush teeth and bed! Then I get to do my homework, pick up the house, do a few loads of laundry and so on. The weekends are for his newly found interest in playing football and chores....but we sneak in a movie or museum at least once a month.
I guess the drawback is, for some, the fact that there is no one there to "back you up". There is no one there when the kid is sick and one person needs to stay home. Of course, we all know that when the woman has the kid it's parenting and when the man has the kid (yes, even if it's his) it's babysitting. Why is that? why do women ask men to "watch the kid while I go to the store" (or where ever). But men just get up and say i am going to the store (or where ever). My son is in third grade and he is studying the difference between an asking sentence and a telling sentence and if you ask me....there is a difference in these two scenarios. Did women end up the parent in charge because we have the uterus? Do men actually think women know more because we biologically can produce a child?
Even in dual parenting situations both parents work more often than not. So it cannot be the whole working mother thing.....we are all "working mothers". I personally don't know any mother who doesn't "work". And I have had the night sweats over being totally responsible for another living human being, but who hasn't?
I see parenting as a hard job whether it's single or otherwise....sure your solely responsible but I didn't feel less responsible when I was married.....sure your stressed out but I was stressed out when I was married....sure, working and raising a child is hard work, but I worked when I was married. I have added going to school to the list of things I do but that is for the better in the long run so we won't count that here. For me single parenting is no different, if anything it's got it's perks.
My Top 10 things about being a single parent.....
1. You always have the remote.......except when the kid does, but at least you have a chance of bribing it away from them.
2. You only have to cook when you want to.
3. Sleeping in the middle of the bed!
4. There is no one eating stuff you buy just for you.
5. The toilet seat is always down.
6. More closet space.
7. You have a shot at having at least one completely free weekend every month!
8. No more Christmas shopping for in-laws.
9. No more arguing! you finally have the last word in your own house!
10. You can go where you want, when you want and stay for as long as you want...
I do think that single parents feel alone more often. And I think that support is always a good thing. So in support of single parents......check out this link to single parent information sites listed below. Sometimes having people around you who are living a life similar to yours makes it easier and more fun.
established single parent support group (NOT A DATING SITE)
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SINGLE-PARENTS-/
http://www.parentswithoutpartners.org/
If you want to start your own single parent support group....
http://singleparents.about.com/b/2009/01/15/how-to-start-a-s ingle-parent-support-group.html
have fun activities for your support group.....
http://singleparents.about.com/od/supportgroups/a/activities .html
I guess the title of single parent never bothered me because I never looked at it as a deficiet.......I am still parenting I just have less laundry!
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Posted by jlowe on 2009-09-11 14:37:09 | Rating: | Views: 23
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