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| My cheating husband! |
*This is the first blog I have written on, but I just feel like need to get my story out there.
Bruce and I have been together 5 years, we have a 2 ½ year old son and he has 3 children from a previous marriage in which we get them every other weekend.. I am 31, Bruce is 32. Our relationship in the beginning was magical, a bond that could not be reckoned with, or at least that’s what I thought. He was separated from his previous wife for about a year when I initially met him. About 1 year into the relationship I realized he was in a financial mess; he was drowning in late car payments, court costs, child support, traffic fines etc… I have always been pretty good about keeping my credit in check and paying my bills on time because I have been on my own for most of my life and I do not have parents or people to bail me out. So long story short, I really helped him get his life together, I totally accepted his children, we moved out of the crappy town he was from and moved to an area where there were more lucrative job opportunities. Found a beautiful home at the end of a coldisack had a beautiful healthy baby boy, we both found great jobs, got married September 08 in the islands and I thought we were living the “dream”. I am not saying things were perfect my any means, but I thought no matter what there was nothing that could ever ever come between us. Our sex life diminished greatly once the baby was born, I was cranky and moody a lot of the time, because he worked 6 days a week, 12 -14 hour days and all the household responsibilities fell on me and I also work a demanding full time job. But still, we loved each other, everything was going to be fine, I just thought these things happen in relationships.
• Until,,,, about 1 ½ months ago, when i went to pay the cell bills and the password didn’t work. I emailed him and said I can’t get in, and to please call and change it since he was the primary person on the account and I didn’t have authorization to make changes. I didn’t think anything of it, and then about a week later, I reminded him again, he said he would take care of it. So a few more days passed and then I got annoyed and said I had to pay the bill, call and change the password. Then I said what the heck are you hiding, of course he said nothing, but I caught his attention and he yelled the password to me and then I went to work. Around lunch time, I went ahead to pay the bill, I first took a quick peek at his call log and saw that he had sent 6000 text messages to this one number in a month’s time, then I went back to the previous month, and the previous all averaging between 5 – 6 THOUSAND texts and calls per month! I called the number and it was a females voice and then I called my husband FREAKING OUT. I can’t even put into words the emotions that went through my body, I mean according the phone records the phone calls started about a month after we got home from our honeymoon and it was obvious to me there was a lot more to this then I would ever ever want to know. I demanded for him to tell me who it was, he wouldn’t, he claimed they were just friends. I drove to his work, hysterical demanding answers; however, he gave me nothing. He said “now I got your attention” and proceeded to make me feel like this was all my fault because I haven’t been intimate with him and I had shut myself to him and off he felt comfort in taking to this other person. So I tried to understand, and made a therapy appointment with him for the following week. I did however ask that he end it with that person PRONTO. Well this begins the emotional rollercoaster that I have been on for the last month and a half. He never ever stopped talking to her, I checked the phone logs’ every day, and there were still calls. I called screaming on her answering machine, but she never called me back. It was horrible, I couldn’t believe our relationships was over and he was continuing to choose this other girl over me, his wife, the mother of his child, his caretaker, SOOOOO MANY THINGS. I begged for him to stop and he would stare me in the eyes, telling me he loves me and he will never talk to her again, etc…. But he wasn’t coming home on time, he was leaving for work early, there were still phone calls to a restricted number because she changed her number because she was getting many calls from me and I felt in my heart something was still going on. So, I checked his email. OMG, was that horrible, I found an email he sent to her immediately after our therapy session stating “she needs to be patient and they will be together soon, he just wants the dust to settle because he doesn’t want to throw it in my face and he loves her and wants to me with her and misses talking to her every day! Well, I LOST IT, I saw red! I called him and screamed, yelled, got sick and he met me at home as I was threatening to drive to his job. He assured me he didn’t love her, he was infatuated and he was not leaving me blah blah blah,,,, We had a rough night of me crying, etc… So, he leaves the next day for work, I was still very upset, I just wanted him to take a few days off to work this out. Well he got home later that night, and I checked his phone, He texted his boss at 8:45a.m. that morning saying he was late, well, he left for work that day at 7:30 and I knew he went to her house prior to work. So I had enough for the millionth time, I had enough, I had her name from the email he sent to her the week prior so I searched on-line for this girls address, long story short.. . I found out that it was his secretary, I just never knew her last name, and since he talked to her all day on his cell I never thought it could be someone from work. But I guess that how they hid it from everyone. I called him once I found out crying out hysterically,,, So how does he repay me, he doesn’t come home till almost 4 a.m., I put my son to bed that night at normal time and paced the house all night. I knew he was with her, I felt hopeless, alone, devastated, angry, hurt, abandoned, how did he do this to me! Then when he walks in the door, I run downstairs and he proceeds to tell me he was out with the guys, me being the pathetic person I am, believed him. He made love to me and held me for the remainder of the night; again, I think we can still make it. I am not giving up on my marriage and letting this girl have you, I am not taking a father away from my son, I am not losing my house and everything we worked for, I just can’t. Why should I let her have him? So, on Monday a.m., I call the mistress Carrie at the job, of course she is the secretary so she answers the phone. I was very calm and wanted the answers, so, she proceeds to tell me that they are in love with each other, he is leaving me for her and I just need to step back. He was at her house Saturday night for her birthday and they did everything but have sex. She is completely in love with him and is not letting him go unless he tells her it’s over, which he never did. So I call him and tell him everything she said, he said she is lying, etc…. It has been an absolute month from hell. He was playing the both of us and never ever admitting anything, till this day, he doesn’t admit anything. So this kind of behavior went on for the entire month of January, our therapist made me promise not to call her anymore and I needed to believe my husband that the affair had ended. So, we just continued with our life, I never truly believed it ended so I called the girl Tuesday February 10th, at this point I had known for a month about the affair. I had asked her again, Carrie, please just tell me its over… She said, No Jen, he was just at my house Friday night and he told me that you are moving out and that the therapist is helping you get over it and realize it’s over. He never ended it, he was making love to me EVERYNIGHT, promising me that he loves me and wants to be with me forever, then leaving our house and getting on the phone with her and spending all day with her!!!! So once again, I lost it, this time I emailed her boss and stating Bruce and her were having an affair and she wouldn’t leave him alone. Mind you, I have done work for her boss so his company knows me very well. I even went on the interview with him. Hell, we had just gotten married 4 months ago and they gave us a 1000 wedding gift. My intention was not to get anyone fired; my intention was for the relationship to be over between my husband and I. I just wanted everyone to know that she was a tramp and he was a scumbag and I wanted him out of my life for GOOD. I had begged him just to leave me and move on with his life if that’s what he wanted, but he never would. He was messing with my brain, it was affecting my little son, affecting my work, my health, and it was just horrible!!!!! But he is a type of man who is all about appearance, how would it look if he left me for another woman, not to mention I make more $$ then him and triple what his little girlfriend makes. So, she was fired instantaneously and he was fired that evening. , At which point I was like, now you need to get the hell out. I don’t want you!!! I stood my ground for that evening, and came in the next morning to emails from his girlfriend saying she was going to ruin my life now,,, I did laugh, its like you already did girl! However, up till that day she said he told her that he was moving out and he still wanted to be with her. So then Bruce and I started talking via text, he was very very very upset, he loved his job and with the economy being the way it is, jobs are really hard to come by. He told me he was out and he hated me and that it was over. I then in turn became the crying, begging girl apologizing for him losing his job, begging him not to go until I came home etc.. and he was being so arrogant, so mean! I just kept thinking, YOU CHEATED ON ME AFTER 1 MONTH OF MARRIAGE you’re the one who is wrong, you are breaking up our family, we have a son, a house, I am the step mother to your children. I am the one who should be mad at you, why are you mad at me, ok, so I got you fired, I still have an income, we can make this work. That job has ruined our life you will find another job, etc… So that night when I came home which was February 11th, he was on the porch on the phone drinking a beer. I was crying and I gave him a hug, he hugged back and I said, please don’t leave Bruce, I am sorry, Apparently that day a lot of people had contacted him for work and he had several interviews lined up so he felt good. So there I am again, begging, crying, just stay with me, don’t leave me! So here we are today, February 23rd all contact has ended between him and Carrie. Unfortunately, I am the one who ended their relationship, so I don’t have a warm fuzzy feeling like it’s really over. Bruce is a very quiet person, he doesn’t talk about the affair, he still says it was nothing and that he was in a situation he couldn’t get out of. He isn’t being overly nice to me by any means, we are together, and he says and has always said he loved me and never wanted to be with her, but I am not sure what to believe. I am scared that he will do this again, I feel like I had such faith in our relationship, I trusted him 100%, I felt completely comfortable in front of him, now I feel insecure, insignificant, and that I am with someone only because I kicked and screamed till I got my own way. So that’s my story,,, it felt good to write it out,,,,
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Posted by jlo41377 on 2009-02-23 13:16:51 | Rating: | Views: 337
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