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| Shopping at Target with Wife - not anymore :) |
WHY MY WIFE WON'T TAKE ME SHOPPING
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and perferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Today my dear wife receieved the following letter from the local Target:
Dear Mrs. W,
Over the past several months, your husband has caused quite a commontion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Jim W, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an offical voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This cause the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing our company money.
5, August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved the 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he bagan crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
9. Septemeber 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. Octorber 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled, 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an annoucement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOCIES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least Mrs. W:
15 October 23: Went into the fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.
Sincerely,
Target Store Management,
Dothan, AL
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Posted by jimw on 2009-10-31 20:44:06 | Rating: | Views: 58
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