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Women 2

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     "What's the matter, dear?" really means "What will it take to shut you up, honey?"
     "I really understand how you feel, honey," means "What the heck is up your nether regions, girl?"
     "Of course you're right, dear," means "Don't stand in front of the TV duri the game."
     "I love your cooking, honey," means "I'll choke it down in order to get laid."
     Never say, "What?" unless you want to hear about it again. Act like you heard it the first time. The content doesn't matter as much as your reaction. Otherwise, you'll miss the second half, too.
     Let her drive, then give her the same stupid advice she insists on giving you. She won't learn from it, but it will make you feel better.
     Don't let her call your car ours. It's not her house, it's ours. She thinks that it is hers because she picked it out. In her mind, that's what counts. They will become yours again when they need rapair or paint.
     Don't assume that she is interested in how you really feel. She is only interested in your feelings when they have some affect on her feelings. Just keep it to yourself and have another adult beverage at the bar.
     Don't go to the bar to drink. Go the grocery, or the drug store, or the mall to get something for her, and stop for a beer or three on the way. Blame the traffic. Keep gum in the car to cover it up.

     NONE OF THIS IS MEANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. DON'T RAT ME OUT TO ME SIGNIFICANT OTHER. LET ME HAVE A SATURDAY TO WATCH FOOTBALL AND DRINK BEER. I DON'T WANT TO SPEND IT TALKING ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Posted by jimvint on 2009-11-06 22:03:08 | Rating: