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| Circles of LIfe |
Who are we, really? We behave in ways that we can often not explain, in ways that we would rather not have to explain, and in ways for which we feel remorse and could never explain. How is this possible?
The first circle of our personality is the widest, and is defined by the regard we experience from others. We behave, and those around us react to that behavior. They define us by thebehaviors we perform. As far as they are concerned, that is our real personality, our real self.
Inside that circle, is the second. It is the circle we project outward. Both by intent and unconsciously we behave in ways that get reactions from others. We often judge ourrselves by that reaction. For instance, we might use a certain expression to shock others into reacting, though the expression is a total constuct. In other words, we might do something that is not truly reflective of our true self in order to get a predicted response from others. The outer two circles are constantly interracting and adjusting to each other. This might explain the fluctuations of our moods and emotions as we deal with others.
The third circle is the smallest and the hardest to examine. It is the essence of our true self that we develop over our lifetime. It is hidden, for the most part, behind the other two outer layers. When it is in conflict with them, we feel out of balance and unhappy.
In order to feel true happiness, to be self-actualized, we must be in harmony with all of our selves. We must project who we really are in order for our friends and family to reflect the approptiate reaction to us so that our inner hidden self is not in conflict with their impression of our outer self. Though the relationships between the layers of our personality are complex, true happiness is the result of harmony between them. Unhappiness and depression are the result of profound conflicts between who we are and who we wish to be, who we wish to be and who others think we are, and between we we really are and who others tnink we are.
The lesson in this can be stated in a simple statement, a quote from Vonnegut. "Be careful who you pretend to be, for that is who you become."
So it goes.
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Posted by jimvint on 2009-10-30 11:32:08 | Rating: | Views: 8
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