View Blog  CLUB AFFAIR           I MET HIM AT A CLUB A LONG LONG TIME AGO. HE WAS IN COLLEGE AND I SHOULD OF BEEN TOO. I REALLY WASNT GOING TO TALK TO HIM, I WAS READY TO GO EAT AND GO HOME. MY FRIEND BEING THE PARTY GIRL SHE IS HAD TO INTRODUCE US. SO I WAS FRIENDLY AND WE SPOKE. NOW THIS MAN HAD A SMILE THAT WAS WARM AND LORD KNOWS HE WAS SOOOO FINE. HE MELTED MY HEART WITH HIS WORDS. HE WAS A BEAUTIFUL CHOCOLATE MAN WITH EYES OF A WISE OLD MAN. HIS LIPS SO FULL AND THEY LOOKED SO SOFT. I WANTED TO KNOW HIM BUT I WANTED TO STAY SO FAR AWAY FROM HIM. HE SPOKE MY NAME LIKE A SONG ON HIS LIPS, HE TOUCHED MY SKIN LIKE A NEW MOTHER TOUCHING HER CHILD.           HIS BODY WAS THAT OF A GOD(WELL TO ME ANYWAY.) I THOUGHT HE WAS PERFECT IN EVERYWAY POSSIBLE.  MMMMMMMMM I STILL CAN SEE HIM AND HEAR HIS MOCKING LAUGH. HE WOULD SAY THINGS TO CONFUSE ME  OR TO MAKE ME UNCOMFORTABLE IN THE CONVERSATION. NEVER IN A BAD WAY BUT OH HOW I HATED THAT. NOW I LAUGH BECAUSE ITS FUNNY.  I LOOK BACK AND NOW I KNOW WHAT I SHOULD OF SAID. HA HA... CRAZY BOY, CARZY BOY..         THIS WAS NOT A GOOD TIME FOR A MAN IN MY LIFE AND I WANTED TO BE STRONG AND RESIST BUT SOMETHING IN HIM PULLED ME NEAR HIM. I WAS TRAPPED BEFORE I EVEN KNEW HE HAD ME. HE MADE ME LAUGH LIKE I NEVER HAD. HE MADE ME FEEL SAFE AND IT HAD BEEN SO LONG SINCE I FELT THAT WAY. AS TIME PASSED WE BECAME CLOSER, I WAS NEVER HIS WOMAN BUT HOW I WOULD OF LOVED TO BE.         I HAD SECRETS AND HE HAD ISSUES HE WAS DEALING WITH UNKNOWN TO ME.  BUT AT MY WOREST TIMES HE MADE ME FEEL SO GOOD. HE SHARED WITH ME SOME OF HIS FEELINGS IN HIS OWN LITTLE WAY.  THOUGH YOU ASK HIM THAT MAY NOT BE THE CASE. HE HAS A HARD EXTERIOR BUT I KNOW INSIDE HE IS SOFT.  HE PLAYED HIS GAME WITH ME AND ME BEING ME I WAS YOUNG AND VERY CHILDISH AND SENSITIVE ABOUT THE SITUATION.         I FELL SO HARD AND TO BE HONEST HE NEVER CAME OUT AND SAID THE WORDS BUT I KNOW HE CARED TOO!!! WE WERE BOTH YOUNG AND I WAS IN A WORLD OF MESSED UP ISSUES HE WAS NOT READY TO DEAL WITH AS A YOUNG MAN, NOT THAT I WOULD ALLOW ANYWAY.  WE FOUGHT AND MADE UP AND FOUGHT AND HE WOULD BE SO SWEET TO ME WHEN HE KNEW I WAS TRYING TO RESIST HIM. JUST A TOUCH OF HIS HAND AND ALL WAS FORGOTTEN.           AT TIMES I WANTED TO HATE HIM, I WANTED HIM TO LEAVE ME BE, YET WHEN HE DID IT CRUSHED ME AND I HURT INSIDE. MY HEART WOULD FEEL A PAIN NEVER BEFORE FELT BY ANY HUMAN I KNOW. I HATED HIM SO MUCH AND YET I LOVED HIM SO MUCH MORE. I COULDNT UNDERSTAND WHY GOD PUT THIS GOLD RIGHT HERE FOR ME TO HOLD AND TOUCH AND PLAY WITH AND YET ITS NOT MINE AND NEVER WILL BE.         WHY WOULD HE TEASE ME WITH SUCH A WONDERFUL GIFT AND TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME WITH NOT AN  ANSWER AS TO WHY??? WE LOST CONTACT AND GOT IT BACK AND LOST IT AGAIN TO GAIN IT BACK. I MUST SAY WE ARE COOL NOW. HE HAS HIS FAMILY AS I HAVE MINE.     BUT I CANT SHAKE THE FEELING THAT I MISSED SOMETHING I WAS SUPPOSE TO CATCH. I STILL FEEL THIS ACHE IN MY BODY WHEN I THINK OF HIM AND MY MIND SOMETIMES WONDERS OFF TO HIM. I NEED TO KNOW HE IS HAPPY THOUGH HE WILL NEVER BE THE ONE TO COME OUT AND SAY NO. HE ALWAYS WORKS HIS WAY AROUND A QUESTION WHEN EVER HE CAN. THAT IS WHO HE IS NOTHING MORE AND NOTHING LESS. HE HASNT CHANGE A BUNCH THOUGH HE HAS BECOME MORE OF A MAN.     HE WILL FOREVER AND ALWAYS BE MY VERY GOOD FRIEND AND I PRAY FOR HIM ON A DAILY. I COULD NEVER SEE HIM FACE TO FACE BECAUSE MY FAMILY AND THEIR LIVES WOULD BE CRUSHED. I CANT HOLD IN SOMETHING THAT HAS BEEN KEPT LOCKED UP FOR SO LONG. I JUST HOPE HE KNOWS I LOVE HIM FRIENDSHIP AND ALL.  LINES CANT BE CROSSED AND BUT HE MUST KNOW THAT IF I WAS EVER ABLE TO TRUELY LOVE HE IS THE ONE I LOVED FOR SO LONG. I KNOW ISAID I COULDNT LOVE, BUT THAT WAS AFTER I MET HIM AND FELL FOR A DREAM THAT WILL NEVER BE AS WONDERFUL AS THE YOUNG MAN I MET AT A CLUB ONE NIGHT!!!!     Posted by jessfreethinkin on 2008-05-15 11:43:17 | Rating: | Views: 66   Email This to a Friend   Friend's Email *    Friend's Name*    Your Name*    Security code*    Refresh Image        Bookmark: Delicious  Digg  Reddit  Facebook  StumbleUpon    Permalink:      Blog Comments    I hope you dont take this the wrong way, this post actually hurt my eyes to read. (the color of font you chose is so glaring) I kept skipping entire sentences and Ive never done that before when reading someones post. So lets just say I skimmed this one, and I wished I skipped it, because, he is history. Do not waste your time looking back... Now believe me, I do not think I know everything, I hardly know much of anything, but I do know this guy spells T R O U B L E. run for the hills. Posted by  roe  on 2008-05-19 21:05:24  Would you like to comment?     (Maximum characters: 5000)     You have characters left.      Security code:                                                     Refresh Image

Blog Information   jessfreethinkin Kansas, United States Latest Posts  FATHER OF MINE!  SEX PURE AND SIMPLE  CHEATING CONVERSATION...  A letter to a lover!!  AM I WRONG????? jessfreethinkin's Links  No links found Blog Categories  BAD TIMES  DIFFERENT PEOPLE  FAMILY  HATERS  LOVE  LOVE AND PAIN  MYSELF  PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE  SEX Blog Archive  September 2008 (4)  August 2008 (1)  July 2008 (2)  June 2008 (2)  May 2008 (10) Comment Archives  September 2008 (2)  August 2008 (2)  July 2008 (6)  June 2008 (4)  May 2008 (26)    Bookmarked Posts writing... Selfish