Tonight after work, my husband and I had to make a stop by the funeral home. One of the men that we work with lost his wife to cancer, so we stopped by to pay our respects. That really got me to thinking about life, family, and grief.
I have been married a little over 3 years, and I can't imagine losing my husband. To be perfectly honest, I really don't know what I would do. I am so accustomed to having his companionship, to his goofy jokes, to the way he smiles at me. I am just accustomed to having him around, so much so that he is a big part of me. There is really something to that two becoming one flesh idea from the Bible, and I don't ever want to have to face that kind of loss.
I know, however, that probably one day, one of us will come home to that empty home after the funeral. One of us will have to face the question of how we will go through life without our better half. It is a truth that I honestly don't want to face or even think about.
This couple had raised children together, shared in life's ups and downs, and had such a testimony of love and care for each other. In his words, "I am happy for her, but sad for me." She is in Heaven, not having to worry about cancer, free from aches and pains, but he is here coping with the loss of his dear wife. Coping with the loss of my spouse,that is one place I do not want
to ever be.
I know that God never gives us more than we can bear, and if God brings us to that point, then he will get us through it. But, that just seems like such a load to bear. A former pastor of mine once said that God gives a special allotment of grace during those times. You don't get it beforehand, just when it is needed. I truly pray that God showers this precious family with that grace and comfort during this time.
This also made me just want to make sure that my precious husband knows how loved and how special he is to me. It makes me want to make sure that I never waste a moment ---that we are always tucking away special memories. When that time comes, that we will have no regrets. we lived life to its fullest, loved with all our soul, and gave one another the best that we had to give each other. When all is said and done, I want it all to be summed up with the phrase, "We lived, we laughed, and we loved."
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