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Its weird how there are some people in my life who can come into it, then make me forget who I've been without them. Their presense blinds me of what I need in my life, as oppososed to what I just want. Certain people bring me to dream of a different life than where I'm headed. Then if they're gone again I go through this withdraw where I have to rethink my life...get myself back on track....Then I ask myself... "What was I thinking?" .....I tell myself "You know you can't do that, thats not for you"....."You know they are happy without you, why bother? Just leave it alone from now on." A few weeks later I feel like they have forgotten who I am, I feel alone again. Then a couple weeks after that I tell myself "I'm better off" and a couple weeks after that I forget all about them...and then after that I start feeling alone again. I start missing the other person.
Then it comes time....that person comes back into your life...after you're over it all. They come...they blind you again....they change your dreams and they change what you want, they bring out a new person in you. A more loving person. Now I cant say this for just one person, this is true for more than one person. They come back, talking with them is wonderful...you wish you could talk forever....until they leave again.
I'm really sick of them coming back and leaving again. Each time its hard for me, yes, I feel great for the little while they come back, but in between, my feelings ache.
everytime you think of them...it hurts you....it hurts to think of all the feelings that are, or arent between you... Then you both talk about the future, and you talk about making plans.
These feelings are a bit confusing....maybe when these people try and come back into my life I should take a day to think about it, but by then I'm already blinded...maybe some thinking time would do me some good though. I wish I could just keep them to myself forever....that way I'll never be lost again. I would probably wait a long time if they seemed to be worth the wait....I wont have to search, I wont have to wonder...they'll be mine...and thats that...
the other choice is that they never come back...leave once and for all...but that doesnt mean that I wont have this with another person either....this could happen with a few people, I believe.
I need to be told....everything will be allright...everything will turn out fine...Jen...don't worry about a thing.....
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| Blog Comments
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Sunday, August 07, 2005
09:26 PM - Tell me things will turn out allright!
Current mood: hopeful
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Posted by jennifervision
on 2008-01-24 01:39:49
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So, I get the same feeling that you do when people you love and miss and once were so close to come and go. Sometimes it really messes with your head. Its something you wont get over or grow out of, you just have to learn to love your life and who you are today.
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Posted by strwberi
on 2008-01-25 23:14:14
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| Views: 48
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