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recap of a typical Thursday night...

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So I start off last night with my dear friend Jose, which is where all
of my really good nights begin. I then move on to another bar and my
brain automatically goes, new bar, new beverage. To match the slightly
classier venue, I go with Jame-O and gingerale (b/c nothing screams
class like a girl drinking whiskey with a straw). Whilst I'm sitting
there looking like a portrait of sophistication, I am also privileged to
a little insider information. My sensory pleasing, chill inducing
beverage is more formally known as a "Big Ginger", which incidentally,
also happens to be what the bartender is... So, now that I know how to
order my new favorite drink I"m really excited, and as you know, when
I'm excited I sweat, and when I sweat I get thirsty, and when I'm
thirsty I drink more! So as I suck down a few Big Gingers (well that
almost sounded bad ehh) we head off to another bar. We go to Green Rock
where we know the bartender who apparently I decided I was newly
attracted to. Before I can pounce on my latest conquest, another
situation presents itself stealing my attention. This is where to
fun/trouble begins.

My friend, in her drunken stupor, spills a little beer on a blue shirt
(side note: I refer to young urban professionals who may or may not work
in the financial district "blue shirts"). So, this particular blue
shirt, who I quickly learned was unnaturally obsessed with keeping his
blue shirt's upkeep was outwardly upset at the alcohol induced spillage.
As I see this fashion conscientious man becoming increasingly irate, I
cannot resist the urge to strike up a conversation--pretty much for no
reason other than my desire to see if i can further annoy him. I attempt
to mirror his obvious concern about the stain, and then with all the
sarcasm I can generate, I actually go as far as consoling him. I have a
sort of out of body experience as I hear myself knocking "drunk sloppy
girls at bars" who I find morally deplorable ---the man clearly didn't
understand the irony behind my rant...which to this day leads me to
believe that he must have assumed I was born slurring words together
with my eyes teetering around in their sockets...

lets fast forward for a second to circa 3:00am when I allow this very
same man to walk me 20 blocks home? I'm sure you're sitting there
wondering HOW and/or WHY the hell I would end up with this rigid man at
the end of the evening right? If you think "oh maybe he ended up being
really funny, cool, sarcastic" you'd couldn't be more wrong...if you
thought "oh maybe he was just that good looking and Jenna is really very
shallow" you'd still be wrong...if you thought "oh maybe he drugged her"
again, you'd be wrong (however getting a little closer)...haha, but it
does get worse...

Upon exchanging the basics with blue shirt I learn a few fun facts...His
name is Eugene, yes EUGENE, but goes by the name Win, which I shit you
not, he spelled out for me, like this : "yea i go by Win, you know, like
when you win a game" wow Eugene, cleverness must be one of your many
strong suits! Prior to this, he jumps at the opportunity to tell me he
works as CBS and is Katie Courics assistant, or some title that I can
only assume he thought would impress me (it did not). I also find out
that he is from Atlanta and immediately can't stop myself from assuming
his middle name is like Bostwick and he grew up on a plantation eating
grits for breakfast everyday...I can almost hear him using the phrase
"colored people" as he talks about the "help" back home (much to my
secret disappointment he does none of the above)... My friends end up
leaving me at which point I allow Winny to purchase me a few more big
gingers in exchange for my company...after all, he's the one who told me
"he's never met someone like me at a bar"---whether intended or not, I
take this as a compliment---in fact, he did a lot of that...hmmm I have
a new theory as to why I left the bar with him

So long story short I wake up this morning, look at my phone which says
i have a text from Win, which triggers fragmented memories from the
night before. As I often do the morning after I spend a night w/ Jose, I
think to myself "WHY JENNA WHY"...and just as I'm trying to piece it all
together, I come across some evidence which expedites the process- A
BUSINESS CARd....OMG i made out with someone who actually gave me his
business card, was named Eugene, had zero personality... I fight the
intense urge to log onto FML, b/c some embarrassing stories are best
kept secret.(or at least semi-secret, b/c someone has to benefit when i
do shit like this since I most certainly don't)

So once again we revisit the question WHY? and honestly the only
plausible defense I can come up with is better sung than spoken
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYc875zkDxg----

Posted by jennadurante on 2009-11-06 14:17:18 | Rating: