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8-7-08

my uncle died recently, he was 36 years old. he was a really loving and hard working man, he was a manager at a quick lube, he worked 12 hour days 6 days a week to take care of his wife and daughter. he was their rock, but life was too stressful for him. he had a heart attack from smoking crack, and died on his bathroom floor at 7 am before making it to work that monday morning. he was at my house the night before printing out his tax forms, we had no idea that he was doing any drugs that serious, besides smokin pot like everyone else in my family, he was so much to me. i miss him dearly, but his wife and daughter have really been ripped to shambles . his wife is in jail now for two consecutive dui's and high speed chases, and posession of crack. she was never a stupendous woman, and if not for her im sure my uncle would still be here with us. his daughter is only 20, she is soooo beautiful and amazing, and shes trying to pay the bills and keep the house her dad worked so hard for. i cant imagine how she must feel rite now. i really want to be here for her, i offered her to come live with me and take some time to recooperate, i would do anything to help her, but she wont let me. she just wants to be with her rediculous wanna be thug boyfriend. im so worried about her, i dont know how shes gonna make it through life without allowing her family to support her.

when i was younger i always put my friends first. they were all i cared about, these self centered teenagers who didnt give a shit about me. but they were my whole world. now that all those people are gone, my family are the ones who have been here for me the whole time, they love me no matter how shitty i was to them or how many dumb ass mistakes ive made, i cant imagine my life with out my mom and dad. i just wish my little cousin could see how important family is and how much we love her and would do anything for her.